Tag Archive | witch

Legacies Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Legacies This is the Part Where You Run Hope

You can’t sit with us, Hope.

Goddamn, CW. Do I have to watch another pilot episode about fledgling witches?

And oof, what a bad choice to come out with your teen supernatural creatures show at the same time as Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

The CW ain’t got that Netflix money, honey.

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Seventh Son – Film Review

Seventh Son Julianne Moore

This is her “Fuck it, I’m an Academy Award winner” face.

Did Eddie Redmayne and Julianne Moore make a pact with the devil? That in order to win their Oscars, they would both have to star in abominable, fantasy action epics?

At least Jupiter Ascending tried to be ambitious. Human-on-Space-Dog-Person love almost could have made it, you know?

What has Seventh Son got? Accent soup?

Who knew that Once Upon a Time could lay claim to doing something better. Yeesh.

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The Originals Season 2 Episode 9 – TV Review

The Originals The Map of Moments Elijah Hope Rebekah baby

Too late.

I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me while I clean myself up.

And then go again, and then clean myself up again.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 4 – TV Review

TVD Bonnie Kai sexy scowl

As long as she’s got an excuse to offload some sexy scowls, I’m happy.

Well, we knew Kai was kind of a douchebag.

I didn’t know he’d be an entire-family-murdering douchebag.

But sometimes good things just happen, you know?

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The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 21 – TV Review

TVD Stefan dying dead Promised Land

And having your heart ripped out is absolutely no excuse.

Typical Stefan. Way to check out just as you’re needed.

Why don’t you go lie in a safe at the bottom of a river for another 3 months.

At least you’ll be dead this time, so you won’t have to bore us with your post-drowning whingeing.

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Once Upon a Time Season 3 Episode 19 – TV Review

OUaT David Snow curse A Curious Thing

I’m not even making it up.

Everyone’s memories are back, and thank God for that.

Let’s get on with it then, guys?

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The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review

TVD Luke Liv confused evil

Just smile and nod, blondies. Smile and nod.

Seriously, did I miss an episode or something?

Last week Liv and Luke were all like “Mwaha we are master trolls duping the Mystic Falls gang on the DL.”

And this week they’re like “We’re evil and we have no qualms dispaying that very publicly to you also we’re inexplicably in Mystic Falls and nobody seems to question it.”

Legit, did I miss an episode?

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The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 13 – TV Review

TVD Katherine Stefan eye roll

“Why do I want to get back with him?”

A entirely Elena-free episode.

This is what dreams are made of.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 9 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Myrtle eye scoop

“I’ll take your paralysed horror as a ‘yes.'”

Myrtle is a twisted old bitch.

Fiona hasn’t got the monopoly on that anymore, I guess.

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The Conjuring – Film Review

The Conjuring Vera Farmiga Lorraine Warren collar blouse

Change. Nothing.

Vera Farmiga, thank god for you.

Oh, it’s pretty scary and cool, too.

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