Tag Archive | wilson

The Conjuring – Film Review

The Conjuring Vera Farmiga Lorraine Warren collar blouse

Change. Nothing.

Vera Farmiga, thank god for you.

Oh, it’s pretty scary and cool, too.

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Struck By Lightning – Film Review

Struck By Lightning dead Carson Kurt

No spoiler alert necessary. It’s in the title.

Well, Joffrey Lannister can step the fuck aside. I’ve found the worst human being in a movie or TV show ever.

It’s like Chris Colfer took everything that was wrong with Kurt, then recycled him into the screen-hogging main character of a movie that is essentially just an ego stroking revenge fantasy.

Seriously, this movie is a fucking atrocity.

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It’s Not Shit: Bachelorette

Bachelorette Kirsten Dunst Isla Fisher Lizzy Caplan prostitutes

“Um, we’re sluts, actually. Get it right.”

So I’ve gone from barely posting any movie reviews at all to posting 2 It’s Not Shits back-to-back.

And both featuring Rebel Wilson.

It’s a conspiracy.

A conspiracy of decent comedies.

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It’s Not Shit: Pitch Perfect

Pitch Perfect full cast glee

No, not THAT Glee. Thank fuck.

Did you know that the last time I posted an It’s Not Shit was almost 3 months ago?

Time does fly when you’re watching nothing worth gushing over.

But Pitch Perfect has brought me out of the darkness, and into the shallow, enjoyable light.

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Film Review: Ice Age 4: Continental Drift

Ice Age 4 Continental Drift Scrat

Scrat is a symbolic manifestation of Ice Age’s own struggle between sensible plotting and sequel-whoring. So meta.

Yes, there is a 4th Ice Age.

No, it’s not that bad.

Yes, it’s not that good either.

No, I don’t know why I keep saying Yes and No.

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Film Review: What to Expect When You’re Expecting

What to Expect When You're Expecting Rock

By posting memes, I prove that I am relevant.

I went into this expecting (ah ha!) something like a watered down version of New Year’s Eve. You know, how New Year’s Eve is the watered down version of Valentine’s Day, which is the watered down version of Love, Actually. So, you know, something pretty awful. A lame idea flooded with name actors.

What I got, thankfully, wasn’t New Year’s Eve’s illegitimate devil spawn (Martin Luther King Day will have to be made to get that honour).

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It’s Not Shit: Young Adult

Young Adult Charlize Theron

MFW EVERYTHING.

In the interest of not becoming a completely sour, world-hating, crusted set of labia, I thought I’d start a new segment called It’s Not Shit. Once a week (if I can be fucked) I’ll take a movie that isn’t a complete waste of time and actually hand out a sliver of praise. I’ll still tell you exactly what I hate about it, but you can consider these a, it pains me to say this, recommendation. I just dry retched.

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