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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 10 – TV Review

TVD Nostalgia's a Bitch Cade

That’s what happens when you smoke Sirens.

Somewhere amongst all this “magic does what we say it does,” telepathic mind journey, forced life-or-death situation bullshit this episode, I’m sure there’s an invested, personal story that’s driven by our main characters somewhere.

Sadly, that story is the twenty millionth retread of Stefan and Damon’s “I hate you/me for turning you/me into a vampire” whinge.

Only six episodes to go, everyone. Let’s slog it out.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 6 – TV Review

TVD Detoured on Some Random Backwards Path to Hell Damon dead

Damon’s off to Hell. Again.

You’d think Damon’s staking would be a bit more climactic.

Too bad it’s mired in flawed logic and needless melodrama.

Welcome to TVD Season 8: The Death Throes.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 5 – TV Review

TVD Coming Home Was A Mistake Caroline gun

When she inevitably gets fired from her journalism job for never actually going to work, it’s an idea.

This episode shows that TVD evidently feels bad about offing Tyler so unceremoniously. So, to compensate, everyone pretends to have been super invested in him all along. Which is hilariously false.

The Tyler indignity continues.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 4 – TV Review

TVD An Eternity of Misery Damon

No use sighin’ about Sirens, Damon.

Yes. Sirens. Plural.

Because why settle for one should-have-been-on-Supernatural villainess who struggles to act, when you can have two?

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 3 – TV Review

TVD You Decided I Was Worth Saving Sybil Katherine

Bitch, you are not even close.

Tonight, someone dies.

But it’s not any of the three central characters involved in the obviously toothless death ultimatum plot.

I do feel kind of bad for Tyler, though. Even Sarah bloody Salvatore got a whole episode for her death. All Tyler gets is a single scene?

Ouch.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 14 – TV Review

TVD Moonlight on the Bayou Bonnie axe Enzo

And Bonnie does get pretty spicy with that axe.

After letting Arrow and The Flash (and Legends of Tomorrow. And Vixen?) get away with crossovers while they sat on their hands, it’s time for the TVD-verse shows to finally unite for two connected episodes.

Will The Vampire Diaries be buoyed by the current good run of its spin-off sister, or will it shine even duller in pale comparison?

Oh, honey. Have you even been watching this season? Duller, obviously.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 13 – TV Review

TVD This Woman's Work Enzo tied up

It’s Enzo’s best look.

With Julian thankfully and finally dead, it’s time for a new villain to rise.

And that villain happens to be an Elena-resembling, sob story-having wuss.

The season of Kai this ain’t.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 11 – TV Review

TVD Things We Lost In The Fire Elena burns

It turns out she was… fired.

So Damon’s hell isn’t over yet. It’s only just beginning.

Any sane person would be thrilled to see Elena turned to ash, but I guess Damon’s still a little wonky from the Phoenix Stone.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 3 – TV Review

TVD Age of Innocence Damon shirtless

“The Damon Hotness Parade” just doesn’t feel the same, you know?

And so it begins. Just like the worst parts of the Twilight movies, we must endure period flashbacks to the previous lives of the resident vampire family.

And we already did that (and are still doing that, dammit) with the Original vampires.

I told you the Heretics were just lousy knock-offs.

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Scream Season 1 Episode 4 – TV Review

Scream Aftermath Chirpster poll

Fine. I’ll just vote for Emma, then.

Token Asian isn’t going un-mourned.

Luckily, we’ve got an abandoned hospital to explore, baby.

And a jab at PLL.

Thank you, Scream.

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