Tag Archive | tom

The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review

TVD Luke Liv confused evil

Just smile and nod, blondies. Smile and nod.

Seriously, did I miss an episode or something?

Last week Liv and Luke were all like “Mwaha we are master trolls duping the Mystic Falls gang on the DL.”

And this week they’re like “We’re evil and we have no qualms dispaying that very publicly to you also we’re inexplicably in Mystic Falls and nobody seems to question it.”

Legit, did I miss an episode?

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Thor: The Dark World – Film Review

Thor: The Dark World Loki Thor fanfiction

“So much hammer sodomy.”

Thor: The Contrived Sequel World.

Nah, I’m just kidding.

It spans multiple worlds, so “World” as a single betrays the film’s plurality.

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Wondering Why I Hate Wonderland – Blog

Wonderland cast

So. Fucking. Difficult.

Wait, never mind. I figured it out.

If The Descendants was First World Problems: The Movie (though it has some competition), then Wonderland is First World Problems: The TV Series.

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Oblivion – CBF Review

Oblivion Tom Cruise clone

Is there anything else you can do with 2 Tom Cruises?

Yes, this is better than the last Tom Cruise movie I watched.

Still a tad too much shirtlessness for my gag reflex to handle, though.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 6 – TV Review

Pretty Little Liars Ashley arrested Roma Maffia

Wha’ ‘chu sayin’ ’bout mah Ashley, woman!?

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is bland-tacular.
Our count is now 4 relish (I don’t like relish), 2 delish.

Hanna goes in jail, then gets out.

Ashley helps Hanna out of jail, then gets thrown in.

The Marin women just can’t make up their minds, can they?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 3 – TV Review

Pretty Little Liars Emily Pam grab arm Family Services

“Way ahead of you.” -A

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is a no-no (see below).
Our count is now 2 Spew, 1 Ooh.

Nothing really happens this week. Just putting it out there.

That’s what you get when Mona’s not around to be Asian and spicy.

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The Apparition – Film Review

The Apparition Ashley Greene

No, Stephenie! Don’t listen to her. She’s crazy.

You’d think I would have had enough of shitty, empty horror movies this week.

Apparently I need to be a bit more discerning in my search for the next Absentia.

Or at least have the sense to stay away from anything featuring a Twilight refugee in a lead role.

My bad, guys.

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Discontinued: Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation April syringe

I’m committing Parks and Rec suicide.

This is the end.

Hold your breath and count to the Skyfall reference.

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m discontinuing my reviews for Parks and Recreation. But you probably should have worked that out from the title already. Keep up.

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TV Review: Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15

Parks and Recreation can of whoop ass Leslie Kim

Bitch be literal as hell.

Well, now that all that wedding bullshit is out of the way, I guess it’s time for some filler?


At least it’s good filler, though.

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TV Review: Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 14

Parks and Recreation wedding kiss

And not as adorable as Liz Lemon’s wedding.

I am here to spread dissatisfaction.

What? Somebody has to dampen all this love and sincere emotion.

It’s the only thing that keeps my filthy humanity at bay. Fuck empathy.

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