Tag Archive | toby

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 20 – TV Review

PLL Til Death Do Us Part Drunk Mum Initiative

I, however, made the grave mistake of watching it stone cold sober.
I have regrets.

There are only three possible explanations for how Pretty Little Liars turned out:

1) I. Marlene King is clinically insane;

2) I. Marlene King is the greatest troll of the decade; or

3) I. Marlene King is just an incompetent, egomaniacal dickhead.

Don’t you wish it was anything but number 3? Sigh.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 19 – TV Review

PLL Farewell, My Lovely group shot

Sorry, Em.

Can you feel the soothing waves of relief washing over you, with the knowledge that after this, only one more excruciating episode of Pretty Little Liars will ever darken you life?

We’re almost free.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 13 – TV Review

PLL Hold Your Piece Toby crying

Who knew Toby was able to emote, huh?

Don’t let Toby’s tears get you too excited.

Pretty Little Liars is still utterly wasting its dwindling time left.

Only seven to go. Let’s keep that countdown coming.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 11 – TV Review

PLL Playtime Spencer Toby

The last eight months have been so wonderful.

Let it end.

God, just let it end.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 10 – TV Review

PLL The DArkest Knight Hanna knife

Remember, Hanna: it’s down the road, not across the street.

I’m rough on Pretty Little Liars. A lot.

But I feel like I can’t overstate just how amazingly pathetic this episode is.

The phrase “has become a parody of itself” is often thrown around with too much abandon. But trust me, PLL has motherfucking earned it.

What a shocking waste of a show.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 4 – TV Review

PLL Hit and Run Run Run Spencer drunk

Spencer’s evidently been watching PLL.

So PLL already solves its flash forward mystery by only four episodes in, and even features a genuine emotional conflict?

What is this? Opposite week?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 1 – TV Review

PLL Tick-Tock, Bitches Aria Ezra hiding

At least PLL is staying true to itself.

Yes, I was foolish enough to hope that maybe, with one final season premiere to attempt, that PLL would somehow claw its way out of the swamp of bullshittery in which it has mired itself.

And again, it didn’t.

Sink ever lower, show.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 20 – TV Review

PLL Hush Hush Sweet Liars Mary Drake

No.

I fucking told you.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 18 – TV Review

PLL Burn This bridal shower

Just barely holding on, ladies. It’s all you can do.

Well who could have predicted it, but I might have to eat my words about PLL taking the inevitable plunge back into unwatchable, retarded shit territory.

Because damn, this ship is crooked, but I must concede, it’s yet to capsize.

Just hold on for two more episodes. Please.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL New Guys, New Lies Ashley

If PLL keeps giving them to me, I’m going to keep doing them.

In this episode, B makes a bold claim about how, unlike A, they don’t hide in the shadows, bitch. They’re out here in the open and they’re comin’ to get you.

So, naturally, their approach is to hide in the shadows and send ominous text messages and literally wear a mask.

Brave.

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