There are only three possible explanations for how Pretty Little Liars turned out:
1) I. Marlene King is clinically insane;
2) I. Marlene King is the greatest troll of the decade; or
3) I. Marlene King is just an incompetent, egomaniacal dickhead.
Don’t you wish it was anything but number 3? Sigh.
Can you feel the soothing waves of relief washing over you, with the knowledge that after this, only one more excruciating episode of Pretty Little Liars will ever darken you life?
We’re almost free.
Don’t let Toby’s tears get you too excited.
Pretty Little Liars is still utterly wasting its dwindling time left.
Only seven to go. Let’s keep that countdown coming.
Let it end.
God, just let it end.
I’m rough on Pretty Little Liars. A lot.
But I feel like I can’t overstate just how amazingly pathetic this episode is.
The phrase “has become a parody of itself” is often thrown around with too much abandon. But trust me, PLL has motherfucking earned it.
What a shocking waste of a show.
Yes, I was foolish enough to hope that maybe, with one final season premiere to attempt, that PLL would somehow claw its way out of the swamp of bullshittery in which it has mired itself.
And again, it didn’t.
Sink ever lower, show.
I fucking told you.
Well who could have predicted it, but I might have to eat my words about PLL taking the inevitable plunge back into unwatchable, retarded shit territory.
Because damn, this ship is crooked, but I must concede, it’s yet to capsize.
Just hold on for two more episodes. Please.
In this episode, B makes a bold claim about how, unlike A, they don’t hide in the shadows, bitch. They’re out here in the open and they’re comin’ to get you.
So, naturally, their approach is to hide in the shadows and send ominous text messages and literally wear a mask.