It was going to be a tough ask to compete with the Thanksgiving episodes of seasons past (could anything ever out-gay the Wizard of Oz fantasy sequence?), and this episode sadly doesn’t live up to those standards.
But goddamn, the closing scene got me in what I will happily proclaim is the gag of the season.
And with dreamy bedroom eyes Liam opening the episode, it’s not a bad sandwich. The turkey’s just a little dry in the middle. That’s all.
Well, the good news is that this episode isn’t as scum bucket-y as last week‘s.
The bad news is that Scream Queens is trying to pull an eleventh hour moral turnaround on Chanel, a girl who just last episode happily thought she’d murdered a love rival. So she could secure a seat at a dinner.
And I say “thought” because it turns out Lea isn’t dead, after all.
So last episode was a total wash.
No, instead of killing Scary Spice, or getting his obligatorily tragic backstory, we get Lily’s obligatorily tragic backstory.
About how Giuseppe Salvatore, her husband, and father to Damon and Stefan, was a turd.
Which we already knew.
But Lily desperately needed those Abused Wife points, huh?
Sadly, it’s not Toby.
And I’m not going to tell you who does die.
Until after this sentence.