Tag Archive | ted

Dynasty Season 1 Episode 14 – TV Review

Dynasty The Gospel According to Blake Carrington Sam Steven kiss

The Originals doesn’t always get it right, either.

The Originals/The Vampire Diaries comparisons between Dynasty and Riverdale are still going for me.

As Riverdale slips further into the quagmire of mediocrity, Dynasty nails another delicious outing this week.

Hell, I reckon Dynasty could probably handle masked serial killers and mafia intrigue better than Riverdale, too.

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Dynasty Season 1 Episode 13 – TV Review

Dynasty Nothing But Trouble Fallon red dress

Aaron Samuels isn’t the only one whose hair looks sexy pushed back.

Fake shivvings, busted wedding proposal scams, and surprise nightclub purchases aren’t even at the top of this episode’s Most Salacious list.

Dynasty, you are a crafty bitch.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL Power Play Sydney AD limo

I’ve had it. Officially.

And the fact that Sydney is still here, and now part of some kind of revamped A Team (the AD Team, I suppose?), isn’t even the stupidest thing about this episode.

Alison being impregnated with Emily’s egg isn’t even the stupidest thing about this episode.

I don’t know if I can go six more rounds with PLL, you guys.

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Arrow Season 3 Episode 12 – TV Review

Arrow Uprising Oliver Green Arrow back

“Oh, I mean, citizenry.”

Poor Brick. He only had a three episode run, and then he’s undone by an army of citizen volunteers.

Not even an arrow to the head? No?

Not even a bullet to the head? No? Malcolm was going to but you wouldn’t let him?

Hmm.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review

PLL The Bin of Sin Jason kisses Ashley

Do we finally have proof that God exists?

Pfft, of course it doesn’t mean that. Ashley totally fucks Jason off and prepares to settle into her life of ab-less, middle-aged mediocrity.

I’m pretty sure Jason’s wealthier, too. So I’m not seeing what the appeal of Ted is, to be honest. Let him go back to Ella.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 16 – TV Review

PLL Over A Barrel

Bring back Jason. Where’d he go?”

One episode after Ashley has the hottest hook-up of hers and the show’s life, her least hottest comes roaring back.

Don’t do it, Ashley. Think of your vagina. She’s had to put up with Ted for two and a half seasons.

Let her have something that doesn’t come with a plate-sized cookie.

Seriously, do Americans regularly eat cookies that size?

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Arrow Season 3 Episode 6 – TV Review

Arrow Roy Guilty

Sadly, no.

Roy’s dick may not be out, but his secret is out.

His secret being that he killed Sara.

Or did he!?

He didn’t.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 9 – TV Review

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is surprisingly appealing (yes, even the orange).
Our count is now 6 No Way, 3 Okay.

It’s Emily’s birthday! Happy Birthday, least favourite Liar!

And her present is an almost-drowned nemesis.

I wish someone would gift me almost-drowned nemeses for my birthday. Instead, I usually get, like, money. And unconditional love.

Blech.

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TV Review: Pretty Little Liars Season 3 Episode 23

Pretty Little Liars Malcolm Aria

Immortal hell beast!

I would have hoped that with only 1 more episode to go for the season, we wouldn’t be subjected to this boring trash.

Yeah, Malcolm gets kidnapped and the Liars raid a morgue, but it’s all so fucking droll.

Obvious padding.

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TV Review: Pretty Little Liars Season 3 Episode 9

Pretty Little Liars Noel Kahn Jenna party Truth

“So you should definitely engage us in a game where we can publicly expose your terrible secrets.”

Cece’s back, bitchez!

Which means drinking, sass, and blondeness.

Also, an extremely serious game of Truth.

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