Tag Archive | taylor

The Conjuring – Film Review

The Conjuring Vera Farmiga Lorraine Warren collar blouse

Change. Nothing.

Vera Farmiga, thank god for you.

Oh, it’s pretty scary and cool, too.

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Catching Up On Old, Cancelled Shit – Blog

The Beautiful Life TBL

Audiences, apparently.

Because I spent 7 minutes trying to come up with a good title to this post, and finally gave up.

Just like how the following shows were given up on.

I am profound. Accept it.

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Evil Dead (2013) – Film Review

Evil Dead Jessica Lucas puke vomit blood

Stay strong, Jessica.

Do you want a horror movie that’s so violent that it literally rains blood by the end?

Here you go.

Also, I haven’t seen the original, so I ain’t biased none, yo.

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Film Review: So Undercover

So Undercover Miley Cyrus

Just grit your teeth and bear it, Miley,

It’s a Miley Cyrus movie that is essentially a knock-off of Miss Congeniality for idiots.

Intro complete.

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Film Review: Savages

Savages Blake Lively Taylor Kitsch

Nobody can.

What’s worse than having Taylor “the world’s least memorable man” Kitsch and Blake “do I even need to say what’s wrong with her at this point?” Lively as your leads?

Having B-Livs fucking narrate.

Such monotone this world has never endured.

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Film Review: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 Kristen Stewart Bella Robert Pattinson Edward vampires

“Hey, where are they going?”

I feel like making fun of Twilight is too easy.

So it’s perfect for me!

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Film Review: The Lucky One

The Lucky One Zac Efron Taylor Schilling hug cry

“But Disney has my soul, so I at least know where that is.”

I have a confession to make: I haven’t actually watched a Nicholas Sparks movie since The Notebook.

Totally cbf’d Dear John, couldn’t stomach Miley in The Last Song, and fucking nobody saw Nights in Rodanthe.

Oh, and The Vow isn’t a Nicholas Sparks movie. Shockingly.

So I guess the formula is still fresh to me?

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