Tag Archive | son

Dynasty Season 3 Episode 14 – TV Review

Everything’s better with unnecessary straps.

Sadly, my gays, the jush train is over, and this week won’t have you struggling to hold your wigs down.

But that’s only because this episode is here to get some shit done. And blow up a car along the way (offscreen, of course. This is CW budget, remember).

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Arrow Season 4 Episode 13 – TV Review

Arrow Sins of the Father group shot

As long as it isn’t Roy.

The conflict of this episode hinges on whether or not Malcolm cares about Thea as his daughter.

You’d think seasons’ worth of proof that he does would be enough to keep his character consistent.

But you’d be wrong.

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Arrow Season 4 Episode 8 – TV Review

Arrow Legends of Yesterday Ancient Egypt flashback

This is straight-up Yu-Gi-Oh! shit.

Praise be to Horus, it’s finally time for the Legends of Tomorrow to spin off, off, and away to their own show, and let Arrow be Arrow again.

But first, we need to time travel. And I don’t mean merely via flashbacks.

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The Originals Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review

The Originals Hayley abortion wolfsbane

StarBortions: our logo is just a deflated uterus.



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TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episode 18

Revenge Victoria masquerade ball faint

Bitch parties hard.

The masquerade ball episode of Gossip Girl was one of its best.

Both times.

Revenge, obviously, doesn’t get anywhere near that.

But hey, it’s an excuse for everyone to dress up and look pretty.

And isn’t that what soap operas are all about?

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TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 2 Episode 17

Once Upon a Time Henry well

“He’s right! Get him!”
Can you imagine?

Well, Regina doesn’t make good on her threat to kill Snow from last episode.

Not really, anyway.

Also, 80s.

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TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 2 Episode 14

Once Upon a Time seer witch no eyes scar

Have we considered this option for Henry?

Status update for all you Once-lers who read about my horrible condition last week (I can pretend I have regular readers. Just like I can pretend I’m Gisele Bundchen. The hot body part, not the insane part):

I’m okay. My rectum is in-tact, and my stomach lining has been fortified due to years of heavy vodka intake, so no loss there.

Oh hey, and this week we’ve got an episode of Once Upon a Time with a flashback that actually develops our established characters. Fucking miracles all ’round.

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TV Review: The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 13

The Vampire Diaries Jeremy bondage

TVD always knows what I need.

How do you top the death of an original vampire?

By taking all your main characters on a hilarious camping caper romp, of course!

It’s better than it sounds.

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TV Review: Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 17

Pretty Little Liars Toby Alison juvie kiss

Also, since when was Toby in a late 90s boy band?

For all those who thought the revelation of Toby being A to Spencer would signal a rapid, compelling pace for PLL, I have news for you:

Sit the fuck back down because Spencer’s gonna milk that shit by not telling anyone about it.

I thought the writers had accidentally thought they were writing for Aria for a minute there.

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TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 2 Episode 11

Once Upon a Time Belle book


So it looks like Once Upon a Time is taking a cue from the Jersey Shore playbook: doing pretty much fuck all for most of the episode then dropping in some fantastic shit at the very last moment.

Reality TV is finally coming full circle, people.

Next step: toilet cam on TVD.

I can dream.

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