Tag Archive | slasher

Scream Season 3 – Season Review

Why did you do this to us, Queen Latifah?

Should I bother calling it Scream: Resurrection?

Should I bother calling it anything other than the trash it is?

It’s bad, baby. Real bad.

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The Final Girls – Film Review

The Final Girls finale lightning

Amazing Technicolor Battlefield, indeed.

I promised I’d post my review of The Final Girls back in my review for Scream Queens’ episode titled The Final Girls.

And, like I said then, this makes Scream Queens look like the utter jizz fart it is.

But is that much of an accomplishment. I mean, embarrassing Scream Queens is really easy.

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Scream Queens Season 1 Episodes 1 and 2 – TV Review

Scream Queens pilot Abigail Breslin Keke Palmer

They must be watching Scream Queens.

I had my misgivings about this. I really did. Those first trailers looked like over-stylised, Dutch angle-fucked, substance-less trash.

But still, for some reason I can’t even pin down, I expected Scream Queens to be decent.

Didn’t I learn anything from Glee and seasons 3 and 4 of American Horror Story?

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Scream Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Scream Pilot Bella Thorne death

Oh, honey. No.

I reckon “Oh, honey. No” will be a recurring theme when it comes to MTV’s Scream television adaptation.

As I’ve mentioned a couple of times before, Scream is one of my Sacred Three: my favourite three movies of all time (Jurassic Park and Jawbreaker being the other two). I didn’t have high hopes for this version, and those hopes were not bolstered by the appalling (and, mercifully, cancelled) Eye Candy.

Well, Scream’s better than Eye Candy.

But not by much.

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The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014) – Film Review

The Town That Dreaded Sundown 2014 Phantom Killer trombone scene

Look at his pretty, blue eyes, though.

I watched this movie for two reasons:

1) Addison Timlin was pretty cool in Odd Thomas.

2) The original The Town That Dreaded Sundown is referenced in a line in Scream.

But then I found out that Ryan Murphy produced this, and my hate fire got stoked.

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You’re Next – Film Review

You're Next Sharni Vinson Home and Away

Unless you’re a Hemsworth, it’s not.

It’s about time we had a classic slasher film.

Bunch of jerks trapped in a house; killers with masks; sequences with more than just gore.

I miss the 90s.

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Maniac – Film Review

Maniac Elijah Wood scalp

Yeah, lady. Don’t be so selfish.

As soon as I saw Alexandre Aja was involved, I was in.

It’s not his best work, but it’ll do.

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No One Lives – Film Review

No One Lives Emma Adelaide Clemens

But you haven’t got Jon Snow around to protect you this time.

Adelaide Clemens is back in the horror seat, bitches.

But her parade’s at its end (ah ha!), because No One Lives is a far cry from the streamline horror pulp that was Silent Hill: Revelation.

Also, I hate Parade’s End.

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Film Review: Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines

Wrong Turn 5 eyes gouged out bandaged

It’s better this way.

From the rather excellent horror sequel I posted about yesterday, now we come to one that is the opposite.

This one doesn’t even have a “wrong turn” in it.

That’s the level of laziness here.

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Film Review: Smiley

Smiley face movie

Not even as scary as a little girl. Sad.

Fuck, when was the last time I did a film review? Over a month ago? And it wasn’t even a real one?

Huh.

Luckily, I have an excellent slasher movie to reacquaint me with the filmic arts.

That was a lie.

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