Tag Archive | siren

The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 6 – TV Review

TVD Detoured on Some Random Backwards Path to Hell Damon dead

Damon’s off to Hell. Again.

You’d think Damon’s staking would be a bit more climactic.

Too bad it’s mired in flawed logic and needless melodrama.

Welcome to TVD Season 8: The Death Throes.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 5 – TV Review

TVD Coming Home Was A Mistake Caroline gun

When she inevitably gets fired from her journalism job for never actually going to work, it’s an idea.

This episode shows that TVD evidently feels bad about offing Tyler so unceremoniously. So, to compensate, everyone pretends to have been super invested in him all along. Which is hilariously false.

The Tyler indignity continues.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 4 – TV Review

TVD An Eternity of Misery Damon

No use sighin’ about Sirens, Damon.

Yes. Sirens. Plural.

Because why settle for one should-have-been-on-Supernatural villainess who struggles to act, when you can have two?

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 3 – TV Review

TVD You Decided I Was Worth Saving Sybil Katherine

Bitch, you are not even close.

Tonight, someone dies.

But it’s not any of the three central characters involved in the obviously toothless death ultimatum plot.

I do feel kind of bad for Tyler, though. Even Sarah bloody Salvatore got a whole episode for her death. All Tyler gets is a single scene?

Ouch.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 2 – TV Review

TVD Today Will Be Different Sarah Salvatore Damon

Sarah Salvatore wasn’t why we liked Season 6, idiot.

Bring back Kai, then we’ll talk.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 1 – TV Review

TVD Hello, Brother Stefan Caroline hug

The eighth season of a show that lost its lead actress two years ago, thus creating a meandering, passionless vacuum is one of those storms.

I remember a time when I would salivate at the thought of the next episode of The Vampire Diaries each week.

Yeah, I hurled a lot of abuse (like, a lot) Elena’s way, but without her, TVD has gone from OMG, appointment television to merely a chore.

It’s yet to reach PLL levels of “I literally don’t give a fuck what’s happening, and I’m only here out of morbid completionism,” but it’s not good.

Let’s just hope TVD’s demise doesn’t drag The Originals down with it.

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Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 16 – TV Review

OUaT Poor Unfortunate Soul August Pinocchio nose penis

That wood texturing CGI looks more like a skin flute.

At least August isn’t just a confused child in the body of a ruggedly handsome man.

Because his penis nose would have been even more awkward.

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