Tag Archive | sheen

Scary Movie 5 – Film Review

Scary Movie 5 Ashley Tisdale

It’s been in there a while.

I was so close to not even bothering reviewing this at all.

But if I can give fucking Breaking Wind the time of day, I guess I owe at least that much to the zombified remains of Anna Faris‘ abandoned franchise.

Ashley Tisdale should really consider throwing a Bynes or a Miley if this is where her career is at, though.

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Film Review: Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World Steve Carell Keira Knightley sex scene

At least he’s not competing with Ryan Gosling this time.

I have a love/hate relationship with Steve Carell.

I love that he’s generally not in anything too awful and is handsome in an awkward way (but normal awkward. Not Kristen Stewart or Jesse Eisenberg, “can’t actually act like human beings” awkward).

And I hate that I don’t find him awful or ugly.

I need fodder, Steven. I can’t complain about you if you don’t throw yourself into some steaming garbage for me. Gosh, do I have to do everything myself?

Luckily, Keira Knightley has brought her vague sexuality and protruding bones along this time. Now that I can pick on.

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Film Review: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 Kristen Stewart Bella Robert Pattinson Edward vampires

“Hey, where are they going?”

I feel like making fun of Twilight is too easy.

So it’s perfect for me!

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