Tag Archive | Sabrina

Riverdale Season 3 Episode 1 – TV Review

Riverdale Labor Day Archie shirtless

When I said I wanted Season 3 to go back to basics, this is exactly what I meant.

Step aside, wannabe-Riverdale. The real, ab-flaunting deal has returned.

Also, levitating babies.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 9 – TV Review

PLL The Wrath of Kahn Jason shirtless

That’s the show I want to watch.

Sadly, Jason spends all his time pining for Aria.

At least Alison isn’t in this episode.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 8 – TV Review

PLL Exes and OMGs Hanna

No, Hanna. Don’t become self-aware. It’s too depressing.

Just FYI, if there’s a noticeable lack of passion in this review, it’s because all my frustration has been driven towards the abysmal Scream season finale.

PLL: only looking (minimally) better when something else around it falls off a fucking cliff.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 5 – TV Review

PLL Along Come Mary Jenna Sara boobs

Sara’s what we call “predatory gay.”

We finally found Sara.

But don’t you wish that we hadn’t?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 3 – TV Review

PLL The Talented Mr Rollins Amish girl

The ABC Studios backlot has too many forestry setups. Did you ever wonder why we keep going back to the Lost Woods? Now you know.

Did Pretty Little Liars watch an episode of Banshee and think “Yes, some of that?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 1 – TV Review

PLL Tick-Tock, Bitches Aria Ezra hiding

At least PLL is staying true to itself.

Yes, I was foolish enough to hope that maybe, with one final season premiere to attempt, that PLL would somehow claw its way out of the swamp of bullshittery in which it has mired itself.

And again, it didn’t.

Sink ever lower, show.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL New Guys, New Lies Ashley

If PLL keeps giving them to me, I’m going to keep doing them.

In this episode, B makes a bold claim about how, unlike A, they don’t hide in the shadows, bitch. They’re out here in the open and they’re comin’ to get you.

So, naturally, their approach is to hide in the shadows and send ominous text messages and literally wear a mask.

Brave.

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