Let’s hear it for Culhane, who comes in at the end of the episode and steals the jush factor in a major and delicious upset.
Kirby is there, too. Looking fucking flawless.
Oh, and Blake is kidnapped and Sam saves him with the help of Danny Trejo or whatever.
But look at Kirby!
Nah, don’t get your hopes up. Noah isn’t dead yet.
I’d reiterate my wish for him to follow in Randy’s footsteps and die as part of the second instalment, but if this season premiere is anything to go by, it seems Scream The TV Series is veering even further away from its film forebears.