Tag Archive | pilot

Legacies Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Legacies This is the Part Where You Run Hope

You can’t sit with us, Hope.

Goddamn, CW. Do I have to watch another pilot episode about fledgling witches?

And oof, what a bad choice to come out with your teen supernatural creatures show at the same time as Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

The CW ain’t got that Netflix money, honey.

Read More…

Charmed Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

And no, I’m not going to harp on with “b-b-b-but the original.”

Because since when is Charmed fucking sacred?

Read More…

Heathers Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Heathers Heather Chandler Nazi hat

Oh, honey. You think that’s cringe? You’re not even ready.

Yes, we saw the pilot come out several months ago, and I, too, watched it at that time.

I was waiting for the series to start in earnest, but that sadly never came to be. Because of, you know, horrible reality.

However, thanks to the magic of the Internet and spotty international distribution deals, here we are. I’ll be doing the whole season.

Let the glorious disaster begin.

Read More…

Containment Episode 1 – TV Review

Containment Pilot Chris Wood hot

He’s mine!

I only came for the Chris Wood.

I only stayed for the Chris Wood.

Read More…

Blood & Oil Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Blood & Oil Pilot Chace Crawford shirtless

That’s a hard, toned act to follow.

With the sad, but necessary, cancellation of Revenge, I need a new “rich people doing bad things” soap opera to satisfy me.

So Blood & Oil is exactly what I’m looking for.

Read More…

Scream Queens Season 1 Episodes 1 and 2 – TV Review

Scream Queens pilot Abigail Breslin Keke Palmer

They must be watching Scream Queens.

I had my misgivings about this. I really did. Those first trailers looked like over-stylised, Dutch angle-fucked, substance-less trash.

But still, for some reason I can’t even pin down, I expected Scream Queens to be decent.

Didn’t I learn anything from Glee and seasons 3 and 4 of American Horror Story?

Read More…

Scream Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Scream Pilot Bella Thorne death

Oh, honey. No.

I reckon “Oh, honey. No” will be a recurring theme when it comes to MTV’s Scream television adaptation.

As I’ve mentioned a couple of times before, Scream is one of my Sacred Three: my favourite three movies of all time (Jurassic Park and Jawbreaker being the other two). I didn’t have high hopes for this version, and those hopes were not bolstered by the appalling (and, mercifully, cancelled) Eye Candy.

Well, Scream’s better than Eye Candy.

But not by much.

Read More…

iZombie Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

iZombie Pilot makeup haunted house

No, baby. It’s a CW show. You’re going to be a pretty zombie.

So I continue to have a spotty run with adding premiere shows. The list includes such distinguished entries as Eye Candy, Under the Dome, and Cult.

Eye Candy sucks.

Under the Dome ended up being unbelievably terrible.

And Cult, a CW show like iZombie, was a mess.

But hey, Veronica Mars‘ team is in the game for this one. Let’s stay optimistic.

Read More…

Eye Candy Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Eye Candy Lindy Victoria Justice pilot

And we’re sure Amanda Bynes wasn’t available?

Can you believe I Just Hate Everything hasn’t added a new show to the roster since the God-forsaken Ravenswood, back in 2013?

Hell, the trauma of watching Ravenswood is what caused the drought.

But pretty people in slasher movie style drama is worth a shot, I reckon.

And it’s only got a 10 episode order, so I can rest assured my suffering will only be temporary if it all goes so wrong.

Read More…

Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Ravenswood Olivia homecoming red paint

I think she would have settled for a tarp, to be honest.

Ravenswood can’t possibly last more than one season.

This is the same weak shit we saw with The Secret Circle, and ABC Family is far less edgy than The CW.

And the leads are Caleb and the sister from Beauty & the Beast?

Come on.

Read More…

%d bloggers like this: