The very episode following my bitch and moan about TVD not allowing human drama between its characters, and now we’ve got some potent (if rushed) human drama between its characters.
My complaining changes all our lives for the better.
So you’re telling me that an episode not featuring all the tacked-on bullshit of this season, and pared back to mostly Damon and Stefan, is one of its best (not that it’s saying much)?
I wish TVD had figured that out sixteen episodes ago.
And, thanks to a pleasantly insane CW, TVD will be shambling on to a season 8.
Not even Nina Dobrev can save us now.
Because she abandoned this leaky boat, bitch.
Bonnie’s pain is a tiny consolation prize to the rest of this pointless, sappy episode.
Maybe season 7 will pull a reverse season 5, and have its second half come in to save its so-far abysmal first?
Well, my smarmy assertion last week about TVD’s fall against The Originals’ rise seems to be holding true.
The Originals had a powerful, knockout episode this week.
And poor TVD had to dangle the deaths of its leading men in an attempt to force us to feel anything about this once great soap.
No, you legacy Bonnie/Damon shippers will have to settle for Mystic Falls’ newest WTF relationship (in the flash forward, anyway): Bonnie and Enzo.
Goddammit, Bonnie. We all know Enzo is destined to finally get all up in Caroline. Stefan clearly can’t hold onto a woman, so it’s inevitable.
Get your witch butt out of the way.
And so it begins. Just like the worst parts of the Twilight movies, we must endure period flashbacks to the previous lives of the resident vampire family.
And we already did that (and are still doing that, dammit) with the Original vampires.