Tag Archive | olivia

Ravenswood – Discontinued

Ravenswood Caleb dead

Caleb means nothing without Hanna and his computer.

Yeah, I’m out.

I gave it 5 episodes, but I just can’t.

I know it sounds insane coming from someone who spends their time running a pathetic review blog that nobody reads, but I actually don’t have enough time in my day to bother watching or talking about Ravenswood.

It’s that bad.

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Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 4 – TV Review

Ravenswood Caleb Rivers shirtless

Miranda’s been on a CW show. You’re gonna have to do better, Caleb.

The good news is, I’ve moved on from hating the banality of Ravenswood.

The bad news is, I’ve gone back to hating the stupid attempts of the show to be “spooky” or “scary.”

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Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 3 – TV Review

Ravenswood Miranda funeral

Who would ever do something like that?

Fuck me, I’m losing interest in Ravenswood faster than I am for The Tomorrow People.

Worst spin-off indeed.

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Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review

Ravenswood Caleb Hanna

“What do you mean ‘not until January?'”

And by “Ravenswood,” I mean Ravenswood the show.

Ravenswood the town isn’t a barrel of fun, either.

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Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Ravenswood Olivia homecoming red paint

I think she would have settled for a tarp, to be honest.

Ravenswood can’t possibly last more than one season.

This is the same weak shit we saw with The Secret Circle, and ABC Family is far less edgy than The CW.

And the leads are Caleb and the sister from Beauty & the Beast?

Come on.

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Hemlock Grove Season 1 – Season Review

Hemlock Grove Roman white wolf

Oh, believe me, you should want.

Hemlock Grove is how I imagine a HBO show would be if HBO wasn’t constantly fellating itself and getting high off its own “brilliance.”

So it’s, like, the good kind of pretentious: weird and esoteric, but not at all committed to it.

Should I be worried that I’m a fan of non-commitment?

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Film Review: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone Steve Carell chest

The whole hair situation here is just not happening, is it, guys?

Steve Carell.

Jim Carrey.

Vegas.

Magicians.

If that’s what you came for, you’ll get it.

As long as you can stomach some forced sentimentality and tone flip-flopping.

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