Tag Archive | movie

The Scribbler – Film Review

The Scribbler Katie Cassidy Suki shock therapy

And Oliver’s bare torso.

Katie Cassidy: the queen, the goddess, my inspiration.

What are you doing here?

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How I Live Now – Film Review

How I Live Now Saoirse Ronan hair

“I’m tired of looking like a dishevelled Zooey Deschanel who lost a fight with a bottle of Shower Power.”

I’ve been waiting for Saoirse to follow up Hanna with something equally as captivating.

The Host was doomed from the Stephenie Meyer start.

And Byzantium was, well, ugh.

How I Live Now will have to be good enough for now, I suppose. Because it beats the shit out of those two.

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Pompeii – Film Review

Pompeii Kit Harington abs movie

You will never not be a Game of Thrones reference, Kit.

A Paul W. S. Anderson movie without Milla Jovovich just doesn’t feel right, does it?

At least we can be thankful that everyone dies in this one. For good.

It’s not like that’s a spoiler. It’s Pompeii.

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Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones – Film Review

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones Katie Kristi

“For only, like, half a second. But it still counts. Can we get paid now?”

I should preface this review by admitting I didn’t see the entire movie.

I only went to see it because I needed to kill some time, and I missed the first 5-10 minutes (I came in at the point where the boys were using that hidden camera to spy on that naked chick).

But it’s a Paranormal Activity movie, so as long as I started at any point within the first 40 minutes, I wouldn’t miss much.

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Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit – Film Review

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit Chris Pine lens flare

“They… They haunt me.”

Spoiler alert: Chris Pine’s hotness is still elusive. It’s all in the angles.

Also, something about spies?

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You’re Next – Film Review

You're Next Sharni Vinson Home and Away

Unless you’re a Hemsworth, it’s not.

It’s about time we had a classic slasher film.

Bunch of jerks trapped in a house; killers with masks; sequences with more than just gore.

I miss the 90s.

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Carrie (2013) – Film Review

Carrie 2013 Chloe Moretz what went wrong

Everything, essentially.

Unlike Carrie White, I do have friends.

I know it’s hard to believe, so fuck you, here they are in action.

So if you feel like resting your ears on some Dirty Pillows, that’s the podcast for you.

And if you scour those episodes carefully, you might even hear your master’s voice.

That’s me, fyi.

Plug complete.

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I Spit On Your Grave 2 – It’s Not Shit

I Spit On Your Grave 2 Katie model

“Nothing. You have a nude scene. Did you not read the script?”

I haven’t posted an It’s Not Shit since 9 September (thanks, Sinister).

Which tells you a bit about the calibre of films I’ve been watching lately.

And who knew a shameless, unoriginal sequel like this would be the combo breaker?

It’s a cruel world.

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The Conjuring – Film Review

The Conjuring Vera Farmiga Lorraine Warren collar blouse

Change. Nothing.

Vera Farmiga, thank god for you.

Oh, it’s pretty scary and cool, too.

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Maniac – Film Review

Maniac Elijah Wood scalp

Yeah, lady. Don’t be so selfish.

As soon as I saw Alexandre Aja was involved, I was in.

It’s not his best work, but it’ll do.

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