There are only three possible explanations for how Pretty Little Liars turned out:
1) I. Marlene King is clinically insane;
2) I. Marlene King is the greatest troll of the decade; or
3) I. Marlene King is just an incompetent, egomaniacal dickhead.
Don’t you wish it was anything but number 3? Sigh.
Can you feel the soothing waves of relief washing over you, with the knowledge that after this, only one more excruciating episode of Pretty Little Liars will ever darken you life?
We’re almost free.
God help me, I actually enjoyed this episode.
Because something actually fucking happened.
If only we could go back in time and let the rest of the season and series know this hidden secret.
Let it end.
God, just let it end.
I’m rough on Pretty Little Liars. A lot.
But I feel like I can’t overstate just how amazingly pathetic this episode is.
The phrase “has become a parody of itself” is often thrown around with too much abandon. But trust me, PLL has motherfucking earned it.
What a shocking waste of a show.
Yes, I was foolish enough to hope that maybe, with one final season premiere to attempt, that PLL would somehow claw its way out of the swamp of bullshittery in which it has mired itself.
And again, it didn’t.
Sink ever lower, show.
Oh, get real. You know better than to trust anything PLL shows you.
If they can retcon Mona’s dead body, then a flimsy text isn’t out of the question.
Can you imagine, though?