Tag Archive | man

Glee Season 5 Episode 6 – TV Review

Glee Tyra Banks Bitchette

Why did ANTM have to end? At least Jourdan won.

With the Unique episode last week, it’s time we had some Becky spotlighting (without a false shooting, this time).

It’s cute when the background furniture get their own episodes.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 8 – TV Review

TVD Katherine clocktower suicide jump

Although, the new twist in this episode is enough to make you wanna jump.

As long as Katherine is around, I will be featuring her at the top of the posts.

But anyone who would object to that has something seriously wrong with them, and is probably an Elena fan.

And they are barely worth treating like human beings, anyway.

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The Tall Man – CBF Review

The Tall Man Jessica Biel

I guess that explains why you’re settling for this piece of shit.

If you looked through my CBF Review history, you might think that I don’t give a shit about horror movies (I’ve done a few of them, hey?).

It’s not that I don’t care. It’s just that a lot of them are garbage.

Let’s add some more to the pile.

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Under the Dome Season 1 Episode 3 – TV Review

Under the Dome Barbie Mike Vogel Bates Motel

No matter how many guns I have to point at you.

Mike Vogel does look good behind a gun.

Though I do like how Barbie isn’t as much of a homicidal psychopath as Shelby.

Easier to empathise with.

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TV Review: Bates Motel Season 1 Episode 7

Bates Motel Vera Norma yell scream

You were the chosen one, Bates Motel!

Well, it was inevitable:

The boring, relationship drama-heavy soap opera episode has finally come.

Still, 7 episodes in is a pretty good record.

Now don’t fucking do it again.

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TV Review: Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10

Parks and Recreation bachelorette party hangover

How does Amy Poehler know what my wake-up face looks like?

I think I should just start off by saying that the above image is not capturing a hangover. Because nobody gets sufficiently drunk this episode, which seems like a real missed opportunity. Because the Parks and Recreation characters are perfection when they’re binge drinking.

Nevertheless, we still get a good combo of penis hats, pretentious hipster bars, another political guest star (Newt Gingrich. Because somebody at NBC thought that’d be cute?) and some more progress on Lot 48.

Oh, and penis gummies.

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Film Review: The Amazing Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man Andrew Garfield Emma Stone shirtless

No shit, this actually happens. Gwen’s a bit of a freak in the bedroom, apparently.

Edit: So apparently I’m as forgetful as the makers of this film were hoping I was (so that I’d forget the last movie only came out 5 years ago? It’s a joke) because I complained about there not being a shirtless scene when, as you can clearly see just above this text, there is. I’m an idiot.

-insert standard reboot-related whingeing here-

Done.

But not really.

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TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episode 2

Revenge Victoria beaten bloody bruised

It doesn’t look like she’s pretending to me. Burn!

Ugh, how could a show that used to be the It-Girl of TV turn into this boring, blubbering mess?

It’s like the Serena Van Der Woodsen of shows.

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Film Review: Man on a Ledge

Man on a Ledge Jump

It’s the only way he’s gonna get one.

Summit logo again? Bitches must be flush with that dirty, Twilight cash.

Thankfully, Man on a Ledge doesn’t make me want to jump off a building myself.

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Film Review: The Avengers

Avengers

“Brace yourselves…our paychecks are coming.”

EDIT: If you want to see someone take a swing at this movie, The Editing Room has a good go at it. Funny, but a bit pedantic. They’re, like, SOOOO mean. As if you’d be mean and make fun of things people like. Rude.

I hate myself. I just hate everything, and now I hate myself.

I was so set on disliking this movie. I was so sure that not only the cramming of all these franchises together, but the helming of uber hipster Joss Whedon would give me free reign to shit all over this. But goddammit…it beat me. This movie is amazing.

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