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The Originals Season 5 Episode 13 – TV Review

The Originals When the Saints Go Marching In Camille cameo

Come for the Camille, stay for the bizarre slap in the face to fans that this pathetic excuse for a series finale turns out to be.

Much like last episode, I would be hesitant to call this episode, and series finale, a trainwreck. Because trainwrecks are actually exciting.

If I had to distill The Originals series finale down to one word (and this is the Internet, baby. Distilling complex ideas into clickbaity, list format is the name of the game), it would be “meh.”

And “meh” is not how I want to feel about the finale of what once was the best vampire soap opera on the CW.

Even the TVD finale wasn’t meh (it wasn’t good, either. But you know).

It makes me wonder how much of a garbage dump the Legacies finale will be. And by “finale,” I mean at the end of the first season. Do you really think that it’ll be renewed?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 11 – TV Review

The Originals Til the Day I Die Freya wedding dress

20gayteen is more than halfway over, baby. We gotta get it while we can.

The only thing this gay wedding was missing was some good old soap opera drama hijinks.

And no, I don’t count this last minute Do We Want Kids talk as drama.

I thought lesbians were supposed to be more organised than this?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 8 – TV Review

The Originals The Kindness of Strangers Elijah hot

Should we make Kameron an honorary Mikaelson? Her last name’s almost there as it is.

Wait, so you’re telling me an episode that features meaningful conflict and stakes between established main characters is better than wading through suddenly-prophecies and nobody vampire Nazis?

That’s crazy.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 1 – TV Review

The Originals Where You Left Your Heart Caroline

I mean, I don’t want to say no to Caroline, but…

Much like Caroline is no Camille, present day The Originals (or anything post-Season 3, really) is not at the same level as its previous highs.

And dear God, did we learn nothing from TVD’s problem of geographically separating the characters? It doesn’t work, people.

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The Originals Season 4 Episode 13 – TV Review

The Originals The Feast of All Sinners Elijah

“Okay.”

Seriously, how did The Originals get renewed?

The ratings are lacklustre.

TVD is dead, so the CW’s not hanging onto it out of loyalty to the parent show.

And this episode feels completely like a series finale.

Who is Julie Plec blackmailing?

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The Originals Season 4 Episode 11 – TV Review

The Originals A Spirit Here That Won't Be Broken Jackson cameo

When did Hayley’s brain fall out?

No, seriously: what the fuck, Hayley?

Also, I’m still unclear on how the Crescents are not biologically related. So no, Hayley. Jackson was not the better choice.

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The Originals Season 4 Episode 10 – TV Review

The Originals Phantomesque Davina resurrected

Don’t sign for it. Refuse delivery.

You know what the weirdest thing about shrinking a The Originals season to only thirteen episodes is?

Rebekah’s already been dragged back.

Also, Davina’s here.

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