Tag Archive | kidnapping

Dynasty Season 3 Episode 19 – TV Review

Nah yeah, cunt.

Let’s hear it for Culhane, who comes in at the end of the episode and steals the jush factor in a major and delicious upset.

Kirby is there, too. Looking fucking flawless.

Oh, and Blake is kidnapped and Sam saves him with the help of Danny Trejo or whatever.

But look at Kirby!

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Dynasty Season 2 Episode 9 – TV Review

Dynasty Crazy Lady Alexis presents gift wrapping

If you’re not living for Scary Movie 2 references, then are you even living?

The only truly sad thing about this year’s Dynasty Christmas episode is that we didn’t get two of them like we did last year.

More Christmas lewks always, please. Gosh.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 19 – TV Review

Riverdale Prisoners Cheryl River Vixens funeral uniforms

With this kind of sports uniform budget blowout, it now makes sense that they were forced to hire a paedophile as the music teacher.

How do you follow up a musical episode?

Well, if you’re Riverdale, you get the fucking lead out and go absolutely crazy with everyone’s subplots, including near-rape, kidnapping, and murder.

Welcome back, Riverdale. Last week wasn’t just a fluke.

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Revenge Season 4 Episode 6 – TV Review

I hope you weren’t interested in being sympathetic or understanding towards David in any way.

Because you won’t want to be anymore.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 10 – TV Review

PLL A Dark Ali Alison wig

Would it have been too ambitious to hope for a little bit of blackface?

Pun fans beware, there are no dark alleys vital to this episode.

There’s a dank basement. That’s close, right?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 9 – TV Review

PLL Spencer blind Jenna

You need to be more young and restless.

Spencer’s Jenna impression may be a little off, but Sydney does a good job of it.

Why anybody would choose to look like Jenna at all remains a mystery, however.

Did Sydney and Jenna co-ordinate, or was it just a coincidence?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

PLL Hanna drinking problem Emily judgemental

“Nope, that’s it. You’re going to AA right now.”

I’d say we should call the Fun Police, but Emily’s already on the case.

How is the hot, gay one of the group also the most buttoned down?

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Revenge Season 3 Episode 21 – TV Review

Revenge Charlotte kidnapped Impetus

“It’s not even on Blu-ray. This is torture!”

I was wrong about the Mystery Man being Charlotte’s kidnapper. Turns out it was Emily and the gang.

That’s 2 episodes in a row that she’s kidnapped someone.

Kudos to you, baby. Taking control of your destiny.

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Bates Motel Season 2 Episode 9 – TV Review

Bates Motel The Box Norman Miss Blair Watson sex

The only thing better than getting a blowjob from your teacher is watching yourself in a mirror while getting a blowjob from your teacher.

I knew it.

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Arrow Season 2 Episode 18 – TV Review

Arrow Thea Oliver's secret Deathstroke

“I was unprepared!”

Well, after being rock steady yet unambitious for a while, Arrow was due to have a useful depisode.

That time has come.

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