Tag Archive | kelly

Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 17 – TV Review

OUaT Chosen Sabine

It’s what Henry deserves. Because Sabine/Tiana should have been our lead and no I won’t stop saying it.

Don’t get your hopes up too much, people. The above image is deceptive.

It’s actually a Zelena episode.

But possibly the final Zelena episode?

Okay, I’m in. You got me.

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Damien Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Damien The Beast Rises Bradley James good looking

Hey, Camille got there. Maybe Damien has a chance, too.

Oh, Bates Motel. You’re not a gentle dance partner, are you?

Last year’s The Returned paired with Bates Motel and didn’t ever get off the ground, despite a fantastic cast and strong source material. But, I will admit, it was oppressively dour and riddled with baffling, bizarre character reactions to crazy supernatural shit.

So it’s not a great sign that Damien, from this first episode, at least, is oppressively dour and riddled with baffling, bizarre character reactions to crazy supernatural shit.

And they haven’t got Jeremy Sisto.

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It Follows – It’s Not Shit

It Follows Jay chloroform scene

Relatively speaking.

It’s about time I featured another horror movie, my most beloved of genres, on It’s Not Shit. It’s been almost two years since the last one. And that one was nowhere near as gripping as It Follows.

Which is almost as gripping as a big, strong man holding you down while putting chloroform in your face before giving you a lecture on a hell demon he’s just given you via his penis.

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Arrow Season 2 Episode 2 – TV Review

Arrow season 2 Laurel

“It’s called ‘be the least helpful love interest ever.'”

Goddammit, Laurel.

I know I said I wanted more Katie Cassidy in my life. But I wanted her to not be an obstructive bitch with a petty vendetta against someone she knows full well isn’t a jerk.

Like, did you even care about Tommy that much?

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ANTM: They Changed It, Now It Sucks – Blog

ANTM new judges

Mmm hmm.

I’m living a trope. Good god, I’m basically Anita Sarkeesian.

Quick, someone cyber bully me so I can hustle $150,000 in pity money off delusional radfems and White Knights.

Also, what the fuck happened to America’s Next Top Model? I know I haven’t been keeping up for the past couple of years, but huh?

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Cult Season 1 Episodes 12 and 13 – TV Review

Cult Roger Kirstie

My only friend: the end. Just kidding. I don’t have any friends.

Well thank god that’s over.

But then again, in true CW style, the final episodes give us a taste of tastiness.

Goddammit.

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Cult Season 1 Episodes 10 and 11 – TV Review

Cult Kirstie Roger pool

I’ll trade ya, babe. A rich, actor boyfriend is worth the murder conspiracy stuff.

We’re almost there, CW die-hards. After this week there are only 2 episodes left.

Then we can go on to Beauty & the Beast season 2.

Fuck.

At least we’ve still got Arrow.

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Cult Season 1 Episodes 8 and 9 – TV Review

Cult Skye Jeff bored

Feels bad, man.

Though I’d still be hesitant to say it’s worse than Beauty & the Beast.

And at least they’re finishing it off. A mercy Cult didn’t deserve.

Generous, CW.

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The Innkeepers – Film Review

The Innkeepers Sara Paxton

Considering the last time I saw you was in Shark Night, I should tell you to not be so picky. But you might be right about this one, Sara.

Throughout the first 3rd of The Innkeepers, I thought my arduous search for Absentia‘s successor had finally (finally) come to an end.

It hasn’t.

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Film Review: So Undercover

So Undercover Miley Cyrus

Just grit your teeth and bear it, Miley,

It’s a Miley Cyrus movie that is essentially a knock-off of Miss Congeniality for idiots.

Intro complete.

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