Oh, Bates Motel. You’re not a gentle dance partner, are you?
Last year’s The Returned paired with Bates Motel and didn’t ever get off the ground, despite a fantastic cast and strong source material. But, I will admit, it was oppressively dour and riddled with baffling, bizarre character reactions to crazy supernatural shit.
So it’s not a great sign that Damien, from this first episode, at least, is oppressively dour and riddled with baffling, bizarre character reactions to crazy supernatural shit.
And they haven’t got Jeremy Sisto.
It’s about time I featured another horror movie, my most beloved of genres, on It’s Not Shit. It’s been almost two years since the last one. And that one was nowhere near as gripping as It Follows.
Which is almost as gripping as a big, strong man holding you down while putting chloroform in your face before giving you a lecture on a hell demon he’s just given you via his penis.
I’m living a trope. Good god, I’m basically Anita Sarkeesian.
Quick, someone cyber bully me so I can hustle $150,000 in pity money off delusional radfems and White Knights.
Also, what the fuck happened to America’s Next Top Model? I know I haven’t been keeping up for the past couple of years, but huh?