The Originals Season 5 Episode 13 – TV Review
Come for the Camille, stay for the bizarre slap in the face to fans that this pathetic excuse for a series finale turns out to be.
Much like last episode, I would be hesitant to call this episode, and series finale, a trainwreck. Because trainwrecks are actually exciting.
If I had to distill The Originals series finale down to one word (and this is the Internet, baby. Distilling complex ideas into clickbaity, list format is the name of the game), it would be “meh.”
And “meh” is not how I want to feel about the finale of what once was the best vampire soap opera on the CW.
Even the TVD finale wasn’t meh (it wasn’t good, either. But you know).
It makes me wonder how much of a garbage dump the Legacies finale will be. And by “finale,” I mean at the end of the first season. Do you really think that it’ll be renewed?
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The Originals Season 5 Episode 11 – TV Review
20gayteen is more than halfway over, baby. We gotta get it while we can.
The only thing this gay wedding was missing was some good old soap opera drama hijinks.
And no, I don’t count this last minute Do We Want Kids talk as drama.
I thought lesbians were supposed to be more organised than this?
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The Originals Season 5 Episode 9 – TV Review
Sidebar: Freya’s “just got suicide bombed” hair is fucking delicious, honey.
The Originals continues its theft of things from Once Upon a Time, it seems.
Not only did they pillage Jaime Murray, but now they’ve followed OUaT Season 7’s plan of hurriedly dumping all the new stuff you introduced in your final season in the ramp up to the series finale.
I mean, I’ll allow it. But why emulate OUaT?
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The Originals Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review
Forget her, Elijah. She’s just vampire Nazi trash.
I’d like to first start this post by correcting an error I made last episode: there was Hollow-quake action at the house when Elijah and Klaus were fighting. Remember that random hail? Yeah, I didn’t last week, either.
But if a Hollow-quake happens in the woods, but it doesn’t affect the scene in any way and only pretends to be important when it’s brought up by a C-list character in the next episode in a suddenly-prophecy, does it make a story-impactful sound?
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The Originals Season 5 Episode 2 – TV Review
We’ve come a long way. #itgetsbetter
Sure, it gets better for the gays. But what about picked-on nerdy werewolf-now-hybrid high school geeks?
Buh bye, Henry.
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The Originals Season 5 Episode 1 – TV Review
I mean, I don’t want to say no to Caroline, but…
Much like Caroline is no Camille, present day The Originals (or anything post-Season 3, really) is not at the same level as its previous highs.
And dear God, did we learn nothing from TVD’s problem of geographically separating the characters? It doesn’t work, people.
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The Originals Season 4 Episode 12 – TV Review
With a face like that, I don’t care how many Red Doors he has in his soulscape.
It’s becoming a sincere disappointment that The Originals, which has been pretty good at keeping its characters’ shit together, even when the plot was at times a tensionless, weasel-filled disaster, is having Hayley act so irrationally.
Fine, then. Fuck off. Elijah will be dripping in new ‘tang so fast it’ll be like you never existed.
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The Originals Season 4 Episode 11 – TV Review
When did Hayley’s brain fall out?
No, seriously: what the fuck, Hayley?
Also, I’m still unclear on how the Crescents are not biologically related. So no, Hayley. Jackson was not the better choice.
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The Originals Season 4 Episode 9 – TV Review
You could say it’s a… hotness parade.
When I said last week that I wanted a status quo change, I didn’t mean kill Elijah.
Fuck.
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The Originals Season 4 Episode 7 – TV Review
To be fair, most things happen in the dark on The Originals.
They stole Josh’s bit. What use does he have anymore, then?
Be afraid, Josh.
