Really? The sixteen year-old little brother of one of the protagonists isn’t the homicidal, big bad wolf of the series?
Who would have ever predicted that?
Well, PLL is seriously pushing Mike as A/an A co-conspirator.
And we get more Johnny this episode.
Just what we wanted.
Holbrook isn’t A. Try not to look so surprised.
On the plus side, our suspect pool now includes Mike, who still looks like an angry twelve year-old.
And Johnny’s back and more alternative and ridiculous as ever. I thought digging through garbage to make paint was crazy, but oh no, he’s not done yet.
One episode after Ashley has the hottest hook-up of hers and the show’s life, her least hottest comes roaring back.
Don’t do it, Ashley. Think of your vagina. She’s had to put up with Ted for two and a half seasons.
Let her have something that doesn’t come with a plate-sized cookie.
Seriously, do Americans regularly eat cookies that size?
After a couple of close calls on the It’s Not Shit front, I thought it was time to finally give in and add to the collection (meta burn. Because The Collection was one of the close calls. Eat it, Dunstan and Melton).
And who would have thought it’d be a Victoria Justice, Nickelodeon, Halloween cash-in piece of garbage like Fun Size.
It’s a good thing I like garbage.
So here’s the facts:
It’s a remake of a trashy, 60s soap opera that the target audience (Johnny Depp stalkers) won’t even know about.
Tim Burton is directing it.
Johnny Depp is the star.
Helena Bonham Carter gets a role she doesn’t deserve.
Why does this movie exist?
Let me start by admitting the only knowledge I had of the original show was that it was something for Johnny Depp to be embarrassed about from his early career.
Apparently nothing about his later career is embarrassing.
Because apparently Sweeney Todd, The Tourist, anything he’s done since meeting Tim Burton, they don’t exist.