Tag Archive | jason

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 3 – TV Review

PLL The Talented Mr Rollins Amish girl

The ABC Studios backlot has too many forestry setups. Did you ever wonder why we keep going back to the Lost Woods? Now you know.

Did Pretty Little Liars watch an episode of Banshee and think “Yes, some of that?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 8 – TV Review

PLL FrAmed Rhys Matthews

Nah, bro.

But I would believe you if you said you were a horrendously visible red herring.

I mean, can it really be this easy, A?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 4 – TV Review

PLL Don't Look Now Papa D drinking

PLL is enough to drive you to drink. Not that I require an excuse to drink.

Yes, the complication-free PLL renaissance has come to an end.

A’s back, bitches.

And they don’t know anything. Because if they did, they’d know how much better the show was without them.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 3 – TV Review

PLL Songs of Experience Liars

They really need to re-edit the opening, too.

I think it’s time to prepare for the apocalypse, because this week marks three uncomplicated PLL episodes in a row.

Surely this can’t keep up.

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iZombie Season 1 Episode 10 – TV Review

iZombie Mr Berserk Liv shots drunk

And why didn’t the bartender just refill the same glass? Wasteful.

See, I told you I’d be more on time this week.

I literally have nothing else going on, if you must know.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 23 – TV Review

PLL The Melody Lingers On Jason testimony trial

“Yep, her name’s Ashley. She’s right over there. She’s super hot. I’m super hot, too. What was the question, again?”

Well, we’ve graduated from Orange Is The New Black to Law & Order.

It’s a boring court episode, is what I’m saying.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review

PLL The Bin of Sin Jason kisses Ashley

Do we finally have proof that God exists?

Pfft, of course it doesn’t mean that. Ashley totally fucks Jason off and prepares to settle into her life of ab-less, middle-aged mediocrity.

I’m pretty sure Jason’s wealthier, too. So I’m not seeing what the appeal of Ted is, to be honest. Let him go back to Ella.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 16 – TV Review

PLL Over A Barrel

Bring back Jason. Where’d he go?”

One episode after Ashley has the hottest hook-up of hers and the show’s life, her least hottest comes roaring back.

Don’t do it, Ashley. Think of your vagina. She’s had to put up with Ted for two and a half seasons.

Let her have something that doesn’t come with a plate-sized cookie.

Seriously, do Americans regularly eat cookies that size?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 15 – TV Review

Pretty Little Liars Fresh Meat Jason Ashley kiss

I didn’t know this pairing was missing from my life, but I’m glad it’s here now.

Apart from this exceptionally hot hookup, little of value occurs this episode.

Which is the new PLL MO, you know.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL Through A Glass Darkly Aria crying

Because justice is an illusion. And Spencer is going to be fucking 30 by then.

As I mentioned in my New Year’s Eve post, I don’t give a fuck about Pretty Little Liars anymore.

So with that in mind, here we go.

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