Seriously, who is voting for Jade?
Out of all the existent, multi-faceted human beings to grace Big Brother this year (okay, there weren’t that many), how has the glorified, blonde houseplant made it to the final 3?
At least Layla was lovably dumb.
Melissa’s forehead counts as at least 2 by itself, so make that a tale of 3 foreheads.
And a duck.
Yes, this is the state of reality television in Australia: a Top Model finalist’s name is “Duckie.”
Pray for us.
EDIT: About an hour after I posted this, Big Brother had their Late Night Feast special where the Housemates got drunk (and a wicked case of wine lips). And Tim totally brought up boat people, and although it wasn’t a huge fight, I’m claiming it, bitches. I’m leaving the original post in-tact, but Tim’s should actually read Accurate, and my final score should actually be 6 Accurate and 9 Wrong. Maybe I am psychic.
We’re almost a month into Big Brother Australia 2013, and after 3 evictions, a few of my prediction deadlines have passed.
So let’s see how I did.
It’s not good.
It’s not Movie 43-level bad. But it’s bad.
I was going to do a post about Anita Sarkeesian’s latest stinker, but Inuit Inua already covered that for me. She’s so reliable.
Instead, here’s another shitpost about Big Brother Australia 2013, where I make yet more unfounded claims against the new housemates.
I mean, why else would you come here?