Imagine this sloppy mess of an episode being the one that airs the same week that it’s announced the show has gotten picked up for a full season.
Between this, Legacies, and dear God poor Riverdale, I have to wonder what the fuck is happening over at The CW.
Just keep Dynasty inside the protective salt circle, though, and I’m willing to endure it.
About halfway through this episode I realised I’d finally fucking had it, and had decided I’d be throwing Riverdale into the Discontinued pile where it belongs (and, if we’re being honest with ourselves, has belonged for a long time).
But Betty, her radiant self, has brought me to a compromise: I’m only going to cover her from now on.
No more Archie and his gym/community centre bullshit. No more Veronica and her relentless, eye-rollingly ridiculous mafia crap. And now with Jughead at some arbitrary private (and apparently boarding?) school, no more of that shit, either.
Just Betty being the only character left on this show with a shred of empathy.
And Chad Michael Murray with his shirt mostly off. Let’s not forget about that.
With Kirby and Culhane stalling, Dynasty’s hottest couple again comes back to Fallon and Liam. The comedy scenes also in this episode just make them even better.
Because it’s hot? I don’t know a lot of metaphors.
Don’t let the gratuitous Mad Dog abs and lingering evil cult drama fool you: there is a tiny smidge of emotional character interactions, and some high school hijinks, hiding in this episode.
Riverdale may one day soon be its former, Season 1 self.
Don’t you want to believe?
Also a cautious good sign: a change of showrunner (and the new distraction for Schwartz/Savage of Nancy Drew) has not killed Dynasty yet.
And as much soapy fun as a plastic surgery-induced recast was last season, we’ve now evolved to a straight-up recast with Daniella Alonso on the scene as Cristal 2.0, 2.0.
Long may Dynasty reign.