Tag Archive | Hiram

Riverdale Season 4 Episode 6 – TV Review

If I wanted something dark and boring, CW, I’d go back to my actual life. Duh.

The non-Betty subplots of this episode are so appallingly bad that I won’t even vaguely reference them this time.

It’s unfathomable to me how anyone who was involved in the production of the stellar first season of Riverdale could look at what it’s become and say they’re proud of it.

All hope is lost. The second Betty’s storyline hits a bump the road, I’m abandoning ship, y’all.

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Riverdale Season 4 Episode 2 – TV Review

I mean, I ain’t mad, dog. But this is a bit much.

Don’t let the gratuitous Mad Dog abs and lingering evil cult drama fool you: there is a tiny smidge of emotional character interactions, and some high school hijinks, hiding in this episode.

Riverdale may one day soon be its former, Season 1 self.

Don’t you want to believe?

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Riverdale Season 4 Episode 1 – TV Review

Good God, we can hope.

Yes. I did cry.

It wasn’t a “Camille’s death on The Originals” kind of cry. But it was still pretty solid and embarrassing.

And being solid and embarrassing is what Riverdale should be aspiring to after the slew of sewer sludge we had to put up with last season.

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 22 – TV Review

Or, sigh, is it?

At multiple points while watching this episode I had to pause to genuinely shout at how stupid and bad this show has become.

And while I would usually be the kind of person to play that old standard of “I’d rather be mad at something than apathetic at something” when it comes to bad entertainment, I don’t believe I’d use that on Riverdale.

At this point, I’ll take unambitious, tepid Riverdale over this overblown garbage if it means no more evil board games, mafiosos, gangs, cults, or hallucinatory candy drug scourges.

I’ve had enough, man.

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 21 – TV Review

How the mighty have fallen.

At least tell me there’s still a compelling Betty storyline?

Isn’t there?

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 17 – TV Review

Riverdale The Raid Hermione wine

Except I drink white, not red. Ain’t nobody got time for all those antioxidants.

I know this is going to sound crazy, but can you believe that the Betty segments are the only good things about this episode?

It’s got to be a first!

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 15 – TV Review

Riverdale American Dreams Cheryl red dress

A slo-mo step.

It’s another shit episode of Riverdale. Not much more complicated than that.

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 14 – TV Review

Riverdale Fire Walk With Me Betty

Riverdale couldn’t even wait until Season 5 to be bad enough for me to make that joke. For shame.

Remember the resolution I made last episode to just grimly soldier on through this travesty of a season?

This is me. Soldiering.

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 13 – TV Review

Riverdale Requiem for a Welterweight Betty crying

And it was so good, too.

They say thirteen is unlucky for some.

But Riverdale’s out of its damn mind if it thinks it can blame bad luck on what a colossal turd this episode is.

You made this bed yourself, bitch. You did this.

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 11 – TV Review

Riverdale The Red Dahlia Betty Penelope

I assume it’s just as dark and grim as Penelope’s lair.

This episode is just really exhausting, you guys.

And I truly want to believe that this avalanche of exposition is Riverdale clearing the decks so we can move forward.

But can we really trust that?

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