Tag Archive | Hermione

Riverdale Season 3 Episode 1 – TV Review

Riverdale Labor Day Archie shirtless

When I said I wanted Season 3 to go back to basics, this is exactly what I meant.

Step aside, wannabe-Riverdale. The real, ab-flaunting deal has returned.

Also, levitating babies.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 22 – TV Review

Riverdale Brave New World Kevin Moose kiss

It’s a gay off.

Despite Kevin and Moose finally getting it together after all this time, this episode has nowhere near the sense of culmination that the Season 1 finale did.

Probably because Season 1 was a slight-to-moderately heightened teen soap opera, whereas Season 2 is this blood-drenched, gangland nonsense, serial killer pit of darkness.

Reel it in, Season 3. Reel it in.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 21 – TV Review

Riverdale Judgement Night The Killing of a Sacred Deer Cheryl archer

But, like, yeah. It is.

At multiple points in my notes for this episode I wrote “This episode is too fucking much.”

Which for Riverdale is exactly the right amount.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 20 – TV Review

Riverdale Shadow of a Doubt Reggie Archie gun mob

Reggie isn’t the smartest.

Well, if we’re going to have murdered teens, we might as well have murderer teens.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 19 – TV Review

Riverdale Prisoners Cheryl River Vixens funeral uniforms

With this kind of sports uniform budget blowout, it now makes sense that they were forced to hire a paedophile as the music teacher.

How do you follow up a musical episode?

Well, if you’re Riverdale, you get the fucking lead out and go absolutely crazy with everyone’s subplots, including near-rape, kidnapping, and murder.

Welcome back, Riverdale. Last week wasn’t just a fluke.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 16 – TV Review

Riverdale Primary Colors New Rules

Well, I guess that’s only one new rule. But it’s a good one.

Fetishistic lesbian slumber parties are an admirable first step, but don’t you think we could use a Molly Ringwald power moment and a dramatic, rain-soaked showdown between Archie and Jughead?

Oh, honey.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 15 – TV Review

Riverdale There Will Be Blood Archie shirtless

We’ll never say no to more shirtless Archie.

But don’t get too excited just yet.

There’s a still a whole lotta Lodge mafia family bullshit, character inconsistency, and even some fresh twinanigans.

But you know what I realised today? At least we’re not dealing with Serpent drama, anymore.

And for that, I’m grateful.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 13 – TV Review

Riverdale The Tell-Tale Heart Betty vomit

I know she’s not hungover in this scene. But I didn’t want to miss a chance to talk about my vomit.

A similar sense of relief washed over me by the end of this episode, too.

After weeks of “huh” and “meh,” Riverdale finally makes the first move to pull itself out of the pits of second season mediocrity.

I could still use about 100% less land deal intrigue, though.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 11 – TV Review

Riverdale The Wrestler Kevin

Like father, like son.

After last week’s tepid entry, Riverdale is back to form with an episode overflowing with homoerotic wrestling.

Sadly, not enough of it includes Kevin. But I can ‘mire from afar.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 9 – TV Review

Riverdale Silent Night, Deadly Night Cheryl Christmas tree

She’s staying on-brand.

Let’s just forget that whole striptease thing. Because it’s Christmas!

And also the Black Hood is revealed and it’s super weak.

But it’s Christmas!

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