It was going to be a tough ask to compete with the Thanksgiving episodes of seasons past (could anything ever out-gay the Wizard of Oz fantasy sequence?), and this episode sadly doesn’t live up to those standards.
But goddamn, the closing scene got me in what I will happily proclaim is the gag of the season.
And with dreamy bedroom eyes Liam opening the episode, it’s not a bad sandwich. The turkey’s just a little dry in the middle. That’s all.
Alexis isn’t dead, everyone. Thank God.
But she isn’t Nicolette Sheridan, anymore. And I suppose I can’t complain. If Dynasty’s really going to lean all the way into soap camp fabulosity, a good ol’ plastic surgery recasting switcheroo is on the to-do list.
I wonder who it will be?
Well, poor Mulan. She finds the only other lesbian-leaning character in Once Upon a Time, and then loses her to another sudden lesbian.
I thought it was only the gay male community that were all “No Asians?”
I had my misgivings about this. I really did. Those first trailers looked like over-stylised, Dutch angle-fucked, substance-less trash.
But still, for some reason I can’t even pin down, I expected Scream Queens to be decent.
Didn’t I learn anything from Glee and seasons 3 and 4 of American Horror Story?
I reckon “Oh, honey. No” will be a recurring theme when it comes to MTV’s Scream television adaptation.
As I’ve mentioned a couple of times before, Scream is one of my Sacred Three: my favourite three movies of all time (Jurassic Park and Jawbreaker being the other two). I didn’t have high hopes for this version, and those hopes were not bolstered by the appalling (and, mercifully, cancelled) Eye Candy.
Well, Scream’s better than Eye Candy.
But not by much.
Sadly, the random psycho murderer part is a bit of a turn off.
And there is no forgiveness for anyone who murders Matt Bomer.
For a bunch of witch characters on The Vampire Diaries, the Travellers are strangely not-dead.
I assume a heart-ripping fiesta is mere episodes away.