Tag Archive | Freya

The Originals Season 5 Episode 13 – TV Review

The Originals When the Saints Go Marching In Camille cameo

Come for the Camille, stay for the bizarre slap in the face to fans that this pathetic excuse for a series finale turns out to be.

Much like last episode, I would be hesitant to call this episode, and series finale, a trainwreck. Because trainwrecks are actually exciting.

If I had to distill The Originals series finale down to one word (and this is the Internet, baby. Distilling complex ideas into clickbaity, list format is the name of the game), it would be “meh.”

And “meh” is not how I want to feel about the finale of what once was the best vampire soap opera on the CW.

Even the TVD finale wasn’t meh (it wasn’t good, either. But you know).

It makes me wonder how much of a garbage dump the Legacies finale will be. And by “finale,” I mean at the end of the first season. Do you really think that it’ll be renewed?

Read More…

The Originals Season 5 Episode 9 – TV Review

The Originals We Have Not Long to Love Freya Keelin bombing

Sidebar: Freya’s “just got suicide bombed” hair is fucking delicious, honey.

The Originals continues its theft of things from Once Upon a Time, it seems.

Not only did they pillage Jaime Murray, but now they’ve followed OUaT Season 7’s plan of hurriedly dumping all the new stuff you introduced in your final season in the ramp up to the series finale.

I mean, I’ll allow it. But why emulate OUaT?

Read More…

The Originals Season 5 Episode 8 – TV Review

The Originals The Kindness of Strangers Elijah hot

Should we make Kameron an honorary Mikaelson? Her last name’s almost there as it is.

Wait, so you’re telling me an episode that features meaningful conflict and stakes between established main characters is better than wading through suddenly-prophecies and nobody vampire Nazis?

That’s crazy.

Read More…

The Originals Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

The Originals God's Gonna Trouble the Waters Antoinette

Forget her, Elijah. She’s just vampire Nazi trash.

I’d like to first start this post by correcting an error I made last episode: there was Hollow-quake action at the house when Elijah and Klaus were fighting. Remember that random hail? Yeah, I didn’t last week, either.

But if a Hollow-quake happens in the woods, but it doesn’t affect the scene in any way and only pretends to be important when it’s brought up by a C-list character in the next episode in a suddenly-prophecy, does it make a story-impactful sound?

Read More…

The Originals Season 5 Episode 6 – TV Review

The Originals What Will I Have Left Klaus Caroline car

Looks like the Elijah Sex Face Parade is gonna have some stiff competition with the Fuck Me Daddy Klaus Eyes.

My final note after watching this episode was “what the fuck were the writers thinking?”

And to be fair, we haven’t reached I. Marlene King levels of WTFery yet.

But seriously?

Read More…

The Originals Season 5 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals Don't it Just Break Your Heart Elijah sex face

The Hotness Parade has evolved.

But if he’s not doing it with Hayley, do we even want it?

Also Antoinette actually is a secret villain or is she hyuck hyuck.

Really, The Originals?

Read More…

The Originals Season 5 Episode 4 – TV Review

The Originals Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Klaus Josh

Whatever happened to Danny from Teen Wolf?

Nah, just kidding. Klaus doesn’t hook up with Josh.

But what he does do is arbitrarily kill some barely-named, nothing minor characters.

This is the kind of quality content we’ve been looking for in our final season, right?

Read More…

%d bloggers like this: