Tag Archive | evan

Dynasty Season 3 Episode 19 – TV Review

Nah yeah, cunt.

Let’s hear it for Culhane, who comes in at the end of the episode and steals the jush factor in a major and delicious upset.

Kirby is there, too. Looking fucking flawless.

Oh, and Blake is kidnapped and Sam saves him with the help of Danny Trejo or whatever.

But look at Kirby!

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Dynasty Season 3 Episode 6 – TV Review

Isn’t it amazing that the gayest show on television also has the best heterosexual romance, too? God bless Dynasty.

After suffering through Nancy Drew and Riverdale each week, I’m so grateful to wash the taste of that shit out of my mouth with a cool, refreshing Dynasty.

I honestly don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s the only thing I genuinely look forward to each week.

Sorry, Supergirl. You gotta get it together, honey.

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Dynasty Season 3 Episode 5 – TV Review

This is the kind of thing Blood & Oil needed more of.

I just can’t figure out how Dynasty is managing to thrive right now, while everything else on The CW falls further and further into embarrassing mediocrity. Or in the case of Legacies, unwatchable poo.

New showrunner be praised for keeping this gal going. God, I’m grateful for it.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 1 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Jessica Lange

YES.

Oh, baby. Never leave me out here alone again.

It’s been, like, 9 months. That’s too long.

But god, it looks like it was worth the wait.

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Beauty & the Beast Season 1 – Season Review

Beauty & the Beast Kristin Kreuk Jay Ryan kiss

It’s The CW’s formula.

Considering I made the effort for Arrow, I thought it was only fair to give Beauty & the Beast a fair shot.

Let me tell you: sitting through all 22 goddamn episodes of this drivel was tough.

And I’ve seen every episode of Jersey Shore.

Yeah, it’s that tough.

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TV Review: American Horror Story Season 2 Episode 5

American Horror Story Asylum Sarah Paulson Lana Winters scream

It’s just. So. Boring.

Well thank god for American Horror Story. After fucking Revenge and Gossip Girl, I need something to turn my mood around and prep for TVD.

And although this week’s episode ain’t no PLL-level shit, stuff does get revealed.

Bloodyface is…unmasked! (ah ha!)

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TV Review: American Horror Story Season 2 Episode 4

Zachary Quinto’s character actually does something this episode! Yay!

That “something” is try to repress Sarah Paulson’s character’s homosexuality through demeaning genitalia fondling!

…yay?

There’s dick and balls involved. Of course, yay!

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TV Review: American Horror Story Season 2 Episode 3

American Horror Story whore sexy legs spread

Ryan Murphy is just recycling poses now, isn’t he?

Tonight, someone dies…

Nah, I’m just kidding.

It’s only a Mexican, so it doesn’t count.

What? Blame the writers.

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TV Review: American Horror Story Season 2 Episode 2

First episode was pretty awesome.

And now everything is slow and boring.

The American Horror Story writers have clearly been watching too much TVD.

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TV Review: American Horror Story Season 2 Episode 1

American Horror Story Asylum Adam Levin sex scene

“While we’re ticking off our ‘What not to do in a horror movie but we’ll do it anyway’ list, we should probably split up.”
And they do.

American Horror Story is kinda the perfect show for me.

It’s total genre trash, so it’s a breeze to watch and its packed with fanservice.

But it’s also full of cliches and genre trappings, so it’s incredibly easy to whinge about.

And it was created by Ryan Murphy, messiah to all things complain-able on TV.

I am home.

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