Tag Archive | Esmerelda

American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 12 – TV Review

American Horror Story Freak Show Show Stoppers Maggie Esmerelda cut in two

Just kidding. There’s been no reason to watch since episode 3. Of season 3.

Only one episode to go. Only one episode to go. Only one episode to go.

Mantra.

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American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 10 – TV Review

American Horror Story Freak Show Orphans Mary Eunice Lily Rabe Asylum Pepper

“You’ll love it. They have Zachary Quinto. And aliens.”

Skitty’s back, bitches.

But she really shouldn’t have been.

Bitches.

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American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 9 – TV Review

I’m just counting episodes at this point.

Nothing scary happens. Nothing shocking happens. Even the melodrama is lukewarm.

And if anyone should be able to realistically sell angst, it should be freaks.

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American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 8 – TV Review

American Horror Story Freak Show Blood Bath Dandy

I prefer to bathe in fruity lexia, but that’s just because I’m cheap.

You know how I said there were only three characters left that I care about?

Gloria. Dot. Esmerelda.

Well, you can scratch Gloria off that list, because that’s not wine Dandy’s bathing in up there.

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American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 7 – TV Review

American Horror Story Freak Show Bette Dot Test of Strength

“And we know everything. But we won’t say it.”

I think I’ve finally given up on caring about this season.

Yeah, Dell murders someone. But that should be the bare minimum level of excitement for a horror show. Not the episode’s major perk.

At least Bette’s got some swish new hair.

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American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 6 – TV Review

American Horror Story Freak Show Bullseye wheel

It’s definitely more fun than passive-aggressive blanket hogging.

Elsa teaches us this episode that the best way to regain the trust of your doubting flock is to string your main critic up and throw a knife into his gut, then purposely and obviously neglect to call medical attention and wait for him to die.

That oughtta restore their faith in you, baby.

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American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 5 – TV Review

American Horror Story Freak Show Dandy underwear Pink Cupcakes

What kind of sicko would want to see that?

Sadly, the random psycho murderer part is a bit of a turn off.

And there is no forgiveness for anyone who murders Matt Bomer.

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