Tag Archive | ella

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 20 – TV Review

PLL Til Death Do Us Part Drunk Mum Initiative

I, however, made the grave mistake of watching it stone cold sober.
I have regrets.

There are only three possible explanations for how Pretty Little Liars turned out:

1) I. Marlene King is clinically insane;

2) I. Marlene King is the greatest troll of the decade; or

3) I. Marlene King is just an incompetent, egomaniacal dickhead.

Don’t you wish it was anything but number 3? Sigh.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 15 – TV Review

PLL Do Not Disturb Emily

Shay, honey. You haven’t got anything else.

I think my favourite part about this second half of the season has got to be that Pretty Little Liars is making Cece’s murder the new big, important mystery

Because Pretty Little Liars seems to think that anyone, anywhere, would give even a quarter of a fuck about Cece.

Why wasn’t PLL nominated in the Comedy categories at the Golden Globes?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL New Guys, New Lies Ashley

If PLL keeps giving them to me, I’m going to keep doing them.

In this episode, B makes a bold claim about how, unlike A, they don’t hide in the shadows, bitch. They’re out here in the open and they’re comin’ to get you.

So, naturally, their approach is to hide in the shadows and send ominous text messages and literally wear a mask.

Brave.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 9 – TV Review

PLL Last Dance Veronica wine drunk

I probably would have just drank straight from the bottle rather than dirtying four glasses, but who am I to judge someone else’s alcohol abuse?

Yes, we’re only one episode from the big Charles reveal.

And PLL certainly likes to rub our faces in it, by closing this episode with an offscreen unmasking.

Because satisfaction isn’t on the Pretty Little Liars priority list.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 2 – TV Review

PLL Songs of Innocence Emily shooting range

They finally figured it out.

What absurdity is this?

Two PLL episodes in a row that aren’t spilling with bizarre, callback bullshit?

Well, except Sara Harvey.

But nobody really cares about her.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 24 – TV Review

PLL I'm A Good Girl I Am Alison guilty

There. I just saved you forty minutes.

Well, thank goodness the trial is over already.

That shit was not exciting at all.

Well, at least not after the revelation of Jason and Ashley’s sexcapade. A measly murder trial ain’t got nothin’ on that.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 10 – TV Review

PLL A Dark Ali Alison wig

Would it have been too ambitious to hope for a little bit of blackface?

Pun fans beware, there are no dark alleys vital to this episode.

There’s a dank basement. That’s close, right?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 9 – TV Review

PLL Spencer blind Jenna

You need to be more young and restless.

Spencer’s Jenna impression may be a little off, but Sydney does a good job of it.

Why anybody would choose to look like Jenna at all remains a mystery, however.

Did Sydney and Jenna co-ordinate, or was it just a coincidence?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 23 – TV Review

PLL Spencer Dean sleeping together

No, Dean. Jason is her husbando. Incest be damned.

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
A wedding dress can’t save you from a boring cardigan.
Our count, with only 1 episode to go, is now 11 blaspheme, 12 serene.

Sadly, Spencer and Dean don’t have sex.

But at least Veronica quickly wakes up to the fact that they probably would have.

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The Call – Film Review

The Call Halle Berry bad hair perm

Just shave it and wig that shit. It’s the only option.

It’s the day of disappointing endings here on I Just Hate Everything.

But if Texas Chainsaw 3D was bizarre and stupid, The Call was just downright offensive.

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