Tag Archive | eli

Scream Season 2 Episode 12 – TV Review

Scream When a Stranger Calls Brooke Noah

And don’t get renewed, for God’s sake.

You know, I had to really suck up my pride to pretend that Scream’s first season wasn’t that bad. Pathetic finale and all.

But Season 2 has been a lot choppier than Season 1. So you’d think they’d at least throw me a bone for the finale (and, with its piss-poor ratings, likely the series finale), right?

Fucking. Wrong.

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Scream Season 2 Episode 11 – TV Review

Scream Heavenly Creatures Brooke Gustavo

God, I feel dirty for resorting to memes.

Yes, baby. Brooke’s back after her absence last week.

I mean, she doesn’t get anything to do other than ogle her fuckboi, but, you know.

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Scream Season 2 Episode 10 – TV Review

Scream The Vanishing Noah stabbed

Our prayers have been… briefly glimpsed at?

No, Noah doesn’t die. Scream wouldn’t be that kind to us.

But we do get a semi-important cast death this episode. One of the ones on my list from last episode.

And Scream even remembers that they skipped the Audrey/Emma throwdown last episode, and instead gives us the awkwardly delayed version of it this week.

Things are looking up.

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Scream Season 2 Episode 8 – TV Review

Scream Village of the Damned Brooke drinking

Take me to Drown Town, Brooke.

I didn’t have a very perceptive week last week.

I thought Scream had only three, including this one, episodes left to go. And I was okay with that.

But now we’ve got four left, not including this one.

So kill a main cast member al-fucking-ready. Jesus.

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Scream Season 2 Episode 7 – TV Review

Scream Let the Right One In Emma Kieran

“I’m sorry, but Eli’s clear mental instability is more attractive.”

EDIT: A dutiful commenter has pointed out a couple of mistakes I made in this review. I thank them for their service, and thank you, dear reader, for internally deriding me. I will mark the errors below.

With only three episodes to go (EDIT: It’s five, actually)  after this one, Scream remembers that hey, it wasted time building up a pig farm nightmare backstory, so why not put all the eggs in that basket?

Because that basket is shit, baby. That’s why.

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Scream Season 2 Episode 5 – TV Review

Scream Dawn of the Dead Kieran

Wait, I’ve got a better one:
“or Justin Bieber after a testosterone injection”

Goddamn, PLL. Scream’s even pulling off filler episodes better than you, now.

Will the embarrassment never end?

Well, we’re talking about PLL. So no.

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Scream Season 2 Episode 4 – TV Review

Scream Happy Birthday to Me Brooke compact

Brooke’s face says it all.

Yeah, Scream has its own bullshit and deficiencies. But at least they’re not seven years’ worth of compounded bullshit and deficiencies.

Scream also has Brooke.

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