Tag Archive | dwarves

Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 22 – TV Review

OUaT Leaving Storybrooke Regina Robin

Well, to be fair, Regina is the one that got me. Bitch.

It’s finally over. And for all my venom and bluster against this show over the years, there will be no gravedancing like there was with PLL.

Sure, even right to the very end this episode is full of plot contrivances and last minute twists that come out of nowhere. But amid all that, Once Upon a Time, much like it has for almost its entire run, found the one true thing within it all:


Read More…

Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 20 – TV Review

OUaT The Song in Your Heart Queenie villain song

Goddamn you, OUaT. You always know how to suck me back in.

Oh my god, you guys. It’s finally happening.

Several seasons beyond when it should have happened, and drowned in plot bullshit, but it’s happening.

Read More…

Film Review: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The Hobbit The One Ring Bilbo Martin Freeman

A better movie?

The Hobbit: An Expected Cash-grab.

I’d question whether the absurd runtimes of the Lord of the Rings trilogy taught Peter Jackson anything, but considering how popular the extended versions are, it’d be moot.

So what I’m saying is, I hate when movies are too long.

Read More…

Film Review: Snow White & The Huntsman

Snow White & and the Huntsman Kristen Stewart face rabbit teeth

“Wha? Twilight’s ending? Kristen sad! I have to actually say that I’m sad, because my face is incapable of portraying that emotion. Or any emotion.”

Oh. God.

I have been looking forward to making fun of this for so long. In fact, I already have.

So you can imagine my disappointment when I found out it really isn’t that terrible.

There is no justice in this world.

Read More…

TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 2 Episode 2

Once Upon a Time Snow Regina choke

This would have fixed everything. Just sayin’.

Mark it down, bitches. This is a milestone episode for Once Upon a Time.

Emma only gets 1 scene. At the end. And she doesn’t do or say anything hypocritical, retarded or melodramatic.

My whingeing really is changing the world.

Read More…

TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 21

Once Upon a Time apple turnover Emma Henry eat


Eat the fucking apple turnover you stupid fucking bitch douche!

Just eat it!

Eat it now!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Read More…

TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 14

Once Upon a Time Emma Sidney phone records


Well, Kathryn’s missing, and I asked: will anyone care?

Yes, they will.

But instead of focusing on that, here’s dwarves and fairies. Enjoy!

Read More…

%d bloggers like this: