Tag Archive | demon

Charmed Season 1 Episode 3 – TV Review

Charmed Sweet Tooth Mel suspenders

Bio Queens are so in right now.

Maggie and Macy better watch out, or our house lesbian is going to steal the fashion game.

Even her Halloween costume this episode is the only sexy one.

Yes, it’s a Halloween episode.

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Charmed Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review

Charmed Let This Mother Out fashion

But not you, Macy.

Was it a mistake for Charmed to falsely resurrect Valerie Cruz in only the second episode merely to be used for a tame, monster-of-the-week?

Yes.

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Charmed Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

And no, I’m not going to harp on with “b-b-b-but the original.”

Because since when is Charmed fucking sacred?

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It Follows – It’s Not Shit

It Follows Jay chloroform scene

Relatively speaking.

It’s about time I featured another horror movie, my most beloved of genres, on It’s Not Shit. It’s been almost two years since the last one. And that one was nowhere near as gripping as It Follows.

Which is almost as gripping as a big, strong man holding you down while putting chloroform in your face before giving you a lecture on a hell demon he’s just given you via his penis.

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Devil’s Due – CBF Review

Devil's Due Sam eats meat in supermarket

A demon-impregnated girl’s gotta do what a demon-impregnated girl’s gotta do.

I think the Devil’s due to have a better movie than this watered-down, unoriginal schlock.

At least it’s shorter than that endless, unbearable marathon of a Rosemary’s Baby redo with Zoe “I just wanted a holiday to Paris” Saldana.

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Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones – Film Review

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones Katie Kristi

“For only, like, half a second. But it still counts. Can we get paid now?”

I should preface this review by admitting I didn’t see the entire movie.

I only went to see it because I needed to kill some time, and I missed the first 5-10 minutes (I came in at the point where the boys were using that hidden camera to spy on that naked chick).

But it’s a Paranormal Activity movie, so as long as I started at any point within the first 40 minutes, I wouldn’t miss much.

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The Conjuring – Film Review

The Conjuring Vera Farmiga Lorraine Warren collar blouse

Change. Nothing.

Vera Farmiga, thank god for you.

Oh, it’s pretty scary and cool, too.

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Sinister – It’s Not Shit

Sinister Ethan Hawke

He’s gonna take that back when he sees the ending.

I said I was done with searching for a fabulous horror movie.

But, you know, the malcontent thing.

So I’m gonna say it definitively this time: my search for a fabulous horror movie is over.

Let a new search begin!

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The Last Exorcism Part II – Film Review

It’s shit.

Turn back now.

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Evil Dead (2013) – Film Review

Evil Dead Jessica Lucas puke vomit blood

Stay strong, Jessica.

Do you want a horror movie that’s so violent that it literally rains blood by the end?

Here you go.

Also, I haven’t seen the original, so I ain’t biased none, yo.

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