Tag Archive | dagger

Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 18 – TV Review

OUaT The Guardian Gold Samdi gunpoint

Maybe next time he’ll actually pull the trigger, though.

My advice about shooting people was for Samdi, but if Gold wants to take it on board, then I can live with that.

What I can’t live with is more tedious, empty episodes of OUaT.

And yet somehow I’m not dead. Am I immortal? Or just hyperbolic?

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The Originals Season 4 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals I Hear You Knocking Freya Keelin sexual tension

A hand on the knee is like, what, third base for lesbians?

The overalls are a bit much, though, Keelin. Calm down.

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Damien Season 1 Episode 5 – TV Review

Damien Seven Curses undressed

Don’t stop relying on that body.

Status report: Damien reminds me of Ravenswood.

That’s bad.

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Damien Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review

Damien Second Death Barbara Hershey Ann Rutledge

Vixen’s not even going to get a chance.

Thank the Lord of Darkness, Barbara Hershey gets more than one piddly little scene this episode.

I mean, Damien’s really pretty, but Ann is all this show has going for it right now.

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Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

OUaT Nimue Emma forging Excalibur

Emma just wants to be cool.

It only took seven gruelling episodes (including the unspeakable arduousness of a Belle episode), but Excalibur is finally back in one piece.

But join us for a dull tale of love lost first, won’t you?

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Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 2 – TV Review

OUaT The Price Fury Guardians of the Galaxy

I was wondering when Disney would start bringing in their Marvel properties.

I want to trust that Once Upon a Time is self-aware enough to see how much this resembles Guardians of the Galaxy. But I’m not sure.

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Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 6 – TV Review

OUaT Family Business Belle meets Anna

Why?

Yes. Someone out there apparently still gives some modicum of a shit about Storybrooke’s most desperate of housewives.

I’m Australian, and even I’m not interested in hearing anything more from Belle.

Go back to being a forgettable side character, where you belong.

You know, like Ruby.

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Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 3 – TV Review

OUaT Snow Queen Elizabeth Mitchell Marian Rocky Road

“Just kidding. I want you to freeze to death, instead.”

And, to everyone’s delight, Marian does indeed freeze into a hideous, CGI popsicle.

Sadly, she doesn’t die.

But it’s only episode 3. There’s still time.

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Once Upon a Time Season 3 Episode 20 – TV Review

OUaT Zelena Wicked Witch melting Kansas

Probably shouldn’t have stood near a well, then.

Yes, it seems Dorothy Gale is destined to be careless with a murderous bucket of water.

Melting witches is her bag, baby.

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Once Upon a Time Season 3 Episode 15 – TV Review

OUaT Robin Regina flirt sexual tension ship

“Archery puns are all I’ve got. It’s a good thing I’m so pretty.”

Luckily for us, amnesia means that Regina and Robin get to flirt with each other all over again.

But unluckily, Once Upon a Time is staying on form from last week, because there’s no kiss.

Yet.

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