Does being a Wish Realm copy count as being back, though?
I thought that this was going to be a trademark OUaT double episode finale, so let me just start by saying how grateful I am that it wasn’t.
Nobody deserves to sit through two hours of OUaT.
“Don’t cry for me, Reg ‘n ‘Lena.”
Those tears are not from me. I’ve already used all of mine up.
No, those tears are from Regina and Zelena for some very dead, and very wasted, men.
At least this one isn’t as Oedipal.
Tonight’s the night when the gang finally leaves the Underworld.
But guess who will be forced to stay behind?
Oh, only the one they came there for in the first place.
And David is no substitute for a real man, but again, we’re desperate, here.
The good news is that Cruella’s still around.
The bad news is that Once Upon a Time is doubling down on last episode’s pointless, minor character sob/backstory schtick by bringing back Hook’s brother. Who is even less valuable to events than Gold’s slutty wife.
All the dead characters in the world to choose from, and we get Bernard Curry. Good grief.
Hook isn’t the sharpest impractical prosthesis in the shed.
The good news is that Cruella is still around.
The bad news is that it’s an episode mostly about Gold/Rumple, but not about being compelling to watch.
With so many worthwhile dead characters to exploit, did we really need to hear the sob story of Rumple’s slutty wife?
But read “bark” as in, like, an over-exaggerated “back” in a fancy British accent.Also, dog pun.
With Cora out of the way, I was worried we’d have to suffer a Fabulous Bitch Goddess vacuum.
Regina is way too friendly these days. And as camptacular as Queenie is in the flashbacks, she can’t affect anything important happening now.
So thank God OUaT threw us a bone with Cruella. After her “in car form only” snubbing last week, I didn’t expect it.
Could it be? A villain on this show might finally exist without having some convoluted, Freudian excuse of a background?
Hey, at least they didn’t kill it.
But boo, can you imagine if they’d killed it? That would have been pretty cool.
I suppose we’ll have to settle for “banished to another realm.”
I should have known. It’s pretty standard for Once Upon a Time at this point.
That wood texturing CGI looks more like a skin flute.
At least August isn’t just a confused child in the body of a ruggedly handsome man.
Because his penis nose would have been even more awkward.
I don’t usually pair it with my day drag, but Maleficent seems to be pulling it off.
I’m still waiting to see Snow and Charming murder a baby, Once Upon a Time.
Quit holding out on me.
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I Just Hate Everything
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