How did I live without you, American Horror Story?
I will probably immediately pass it over once I get my doses of Once Upon a Time and PLL when they return this week, but believe me, at this very moment, American Horror Story is my favourite show on right now.
Because it doesn’t give a fuck. Just like me.
Am I an Internet badass yet? With lines like that? Come on, I’m trying.
You commit Lange as a patient, reveal a character is pregnant, have said character perform a coat hanger abortion, and stab Kit the fuck in the chest with a huge-ass needle. All while revealing the identity of present day Bloodyface.
Because that’s how American Horror Story do.
Christmas is my favourite holiday.
It’s the most acceptable time of the year to get shit-faced. Next to New Year’s. And St Patrick’s Day. And my birthday. And Wednesdays. And-
Actually, Christmas wins because you get alcohol AND presents. There.
It’s flashback-palooza this week.
And, thankfully, flashforward. We finally get an update on the present day sitch at Briarcliff.
Also, homicidal little girl. Because that was one cliché American Horror Story was yet to cover. Obv.
Zachary Quinto’s character actually does something this episode! Yay!
That “something” is try to repress Sarah Paulson’s character’s homosexuality through demeaning genitalia fondling!
There’s dick and balls involved. Of course, yay!