Tag Archive | coven

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones – Film Review

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones Katie Kristi

“For only, like, half a second. But it still counts. Can we get paid now?”

I should preface this review by admitting I didn’t see the entire movie.

I only went to see it because I needed to kill some time, and I missed the first 5-10 minutes (I came in at the point where the boys were using that hidden camera to spy on that naked chick).

But it’s a Paranormal Activity movie, so as long as I started at any point within the first 40 minutes, I wouldn’t miss much.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 13 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Madison Kyle kiss

“Mainly because I’m the one inside your head making you do it.”

Madison is basically Alison Dilaurentis.

That crossover begs.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 11 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Cordelie eye gouge

If so, then I understand.

Well, Queenie isn’t dead. So I jumped the gun on that one.

Fiona and Angela make sure the death toll doesn’t stall, though.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 10 – TV Review

AHS Coven Patti death

Who does she think she is? A 90s slasher movie victim?

It’d be hard to follow up a whole hairdresser shop’s worth of deaths, but American Horror Story puts in a modest effort by keeping them coming.

And with, what, 3 episodes to go, I can only hope for further escalation.

I want bodies on the floor.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 7 – TV Review

I hate to say it, but the shine is wearing off this season of American Horror Story for me.

Too much talking, not enough crazy, fucked up, witchy shit.

Plenty of sex, though.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 6 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Madison resurgence

“And I know… I need to fucking exfoliate.”

Oh thank god, it’s been too long.

Don’t scare me like that again.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 5 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven witch burning

“That’s Burning Woman, you misogynistic shitlord.”

Did you really think Fiona wouldn’t be able to wriggle her way out of a little murder accusation?

That was Myrtle’s mistake.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 4 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven butler

Bloody wuss.

It was inevitable: we’ve finally run into a talking episode.

I suppose it was gonna be a tough ask for American Horror Story to continue its murder-raping, body-bagging, Mare Winnigham incesting pace.

And this episode is kind enough to slip in a bit of tongue.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 3 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Madison Nan Luke cake

I’d probably choose the cake. If you were wondering.

Well, first we had death-by-rape.

Then we had making a man out of Kyle.

I didn’t expect to get horrified again, but American Horror Story has managed to turn even Mare Winningham into a debauched nightmare.

God, it’s good.

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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 2 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Kyle bag pieces boy parts

She’s taking him out of the bag, so is that kinda the same thing?

Well, if I thought raping someone to death was the most fucked up thing this show could throw at me, clearly I was an idiot.

I mean, I’m an idiot most of the time.

But damn, AHS. You’re sick, bro.

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