We all know Alice would be unbeatable in the reading challenge.

There is hope yet for anyone who wants more out of Riverdale, as this episode mostly succeeds at the gargantuan task of trying to ground the drama across every subplot.

Sure, the episode winds down by still dipping its toe into this Stonewall Prep, every-Hardy-Boys-author-gets-murdered stupidity. But hey, at least the demonic doll is put to bed on the Cheryl front.

As for Betty? Not a lot on. So the Betty-only Report is gon’ be quick.

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