Tag Archive | chris

Carrie (2013) – Film Review

Carrie 2013 Chloe Moretz what went wrong

Everything, essentially.

Unlike Carrie White, I do have friends.

I know it’s hard to believe, so fuck you, here they are in action.

So if you feel like resting your ears on some Dirty Pillows, that’s the podcast for you.

And if you scour those episodes carefully, you might even hear your master’s voice.

That’s me, fyi.

Plug complete.

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Thor: The Dark World – Film Review

Thor: The Dark World Loki Thor fanfiction

“So much hammer sodomy.”

Thor: The Contrived Sequel World.

Nah, I’m just kidding.

It spans multiple worlds, so “World” as a single betrays the film’s plurality.

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Star Trek Into Darkness – CBF Review

Star Trek Into Darkness Spock/Kirk love

I don’t think Spock suffers from the same indecision.

I thought you might want some more aliens tonight.

Hot ones, this time.

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Struck By Lightning – Film Review

Struck By Lightning dead Carson Kurt

No spoiler alert necessary. It’s in the title.

Well, Joffrey Lannister can step the fuck aside. I’ve found the worst human being in a movie or TV show ever.

It’s like Chris Colfer took everything that was wrong with Kurt, then recycled him into the screen-hogging main character of a movie that is essentially just an ego stroking revenge fantasy.

Seriously, this movie is a fucking atrocity.

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Film Review: Red Dawn (2012)

Red Dawn CGI

That’s not the only thing.

I made the same mistake here that I did with this week’s episode of Cult. Namely, watching something better beforehand.

The night before I watched Red Dawn, I watched Tomorrow, When the War Began.

Compared to the books, it isn’t that great. But compared to Red Dawn, it is a fucking masterpiece.

Red Dawn is crap, is what I’m saying.

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TV Review: Glee Season 4 Episode 17

Glee Spice Girls Kitty Ginger

An episode of Glee that isn’t meaningless garbage? Please?

So Blaine’s stupid infatuation with Sam is back.

I know I whinged about it evaporating, but that didn’t mean I wanted it back again.

Doesn’t Glee know that I want to have my cake and eat it, too?

It would explain my obesity.

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Discontinued: Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation April syringe

I’m committing Parks and Rec suicide.

This is the end.

Hold your breath and count to the Skyfall reference.

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m discontinuing my reviews for Parks and Recreation. But you probably should have worked that out from the title already. Keep up.

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