The non-Betty subplots of this episode are so appallingly bad that I won’t even vaguely reference them this time.
It’s unfathomable to me how anyone who was involved in the production of the stellar first season of Riverdale could look at what it’s become and say they’re proud of it.
All hope is lost. The second Betty’s storyline hits a bump the road, I’m abandoning ship, y’all.
At multiple points while watching this episode I had to pause to genuinely shout at how stupid and bad this show has become.
And while I would usually be the kind of person to play that old standard of “I’d rather be mad at something than apathetic at something” when it comes to bad entertainment, I don’t believe I’d use that on Riverdale.
At this point, I’ll take unambitious, tepid Riverdale over this overblown garbage if it means no more evil board games, mafiosos, gangs, cults, or hallucinatory candy drug scourges.
I’ve had enough, man.
It’s no coincidence that Riverdale chose to echo one of the best shots from the Season 1 finale this week, as this episode is confidently the best Riverdale we’ve had since Season 2 began.
Let’s just all agree that as fun as a musical episode can be, we don’t want Riverdale to turn into Glee, okay?
Who knew that in an episode about thwarting the evils of gay conversion that our true hope spot would be the realisation of just how pathetically fragile Hiram is, and the confirmation of Archie’s unfounded bravado?
It’s good to be back, Riverdale.
But don’t get too excited just yet.
There’s a still a whole lotta Lodge mafia family bullshit, character inconsistency, and even some fresh twinanigans.
But you know what I realised today? At least we’re not dealing with Serpent drama, anymore.
And for that, I’m grateful.