Tag Archive | cbf

Curse of Chucky – CBF Review

Curse of Chucky wanna play

That knife totally isn’t compensating for something.

I remember the Chucky movies were pretty scary growing up.

Until they devolved into comedy-only shadows of their former selves.

Sadly, this attempt at a gritty return to form misinterpreted “gritty” as “boring, standard slasher movie.”

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The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia – CBF Review

The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia slave hatch Emily Alyn Lind

“And I’m not even black. God!”

Another post, another CBF Review for a horror/thriller film.

Maybe I’m not really a fan of the genre, and my whole film fan identity is a lie?

Or maybe this is just a mediocre sequel to a mediocrity-straddling (apart from the radiant Virginia Madsen) original?

It’s the latter. I’m sure.

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Star Trek Into Darkness – CBF Review

Star Trek Into Darkness Spock/Kirk love

I don’t think Spock suffers from the same indecision.

I thought you might want some more aliens tonight.

Hot ones, this time.

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Dark Skies – CBF Review

Dark Skies Keri Russell

If only it were that simple.

I only watched it because Keri Russell is in it and The Americans is finished for the season.

I got what I came for.

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Byzantium – CBF Review

Byzantium Gemma Arterton Clara Saoirse Ronan Eleanor

If only there was a movie that combined the 2.

I wish I’d known this was based on a play before I’d started watching it.

Predictably, it’s slow-paced and thinks it’s profound when it’s not.

But it does bring the blood.

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The Tall Man – CBF Review

The Tall Man Jessica Biel

I guess that explains why you’re settling for this piece of shit.

If you looked through my CBF Review history, you might think that I don’t give a shit about horror movies (I’ve done a few of them, hey?).

It’s not that I don’t care. It’s just that a lot of them are garbage.

Let’s add some more to the pile.

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Mama – CBF Review

Mama Jaime Lannister

Always find the silver lining.

It’s not that you’re a bad movie, Mama.

It’s that you’re tacky and I hate you.

At least you managed to humanise Jessica Chastain. She must need the occasional break from being Oscar bait.

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I Give It a Year – CBF Review

I Give It a Year Rose Byrne Simon Baker

And lots of swearing, too. I like swearing.

Sometimes you’re in a really good space to watch a slightly vulgar, witty, formula-bending romcom.

And sometimes (like this time. Did you see I was going there?), you’re not.

That’s not to say I Give It a Year is horrible or boring or bland, but it’s… well.

Well, no, it is a bit bland.

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Kath & Kimderella – CBF Review

Kath & Kimderella pink princess dress

Kim knows how to rock that shit.

I was gonna do a full review for this.

Then I watched it and experienced the bland emptiness of a tired series that was once so dear to me.

So now I’m really looking forward to that Veronica Mars movie.

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The Impossible – CBF Review

The Impossible Naomi Watts scream cry tsunami

Despite my apathy towards this movie, I’d say Naomi gave it a pretty good shot.

It was pretty.

But eh.

I mean, like, I get it.

But eh.

Eh.

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