Tag Archive | CBF Review

Open Windows – CBF Review

Open Windows Elijah Wood boobs Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey’s boobs, especially. They’re out there, already.

I only saw this movie for two reasons:

  1. I wanted to see if Elijah Wood could follow up Maniac, and become a bonafide Scream King;
  2. And I plan to finally get around to watching Unfriended soon, and thought this would be a warm-up/proof-of-concept for the exciting new subgenre of “all on the screen” horror movies.

I was disappointed in both departments.

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The Salvation – CBF Review

The Salvation Eva Green Mads Mikkelsen Penny Dreadful Hannibal

Sorry, Mads.

Two of television’s biggest horror show stars unite in an atmospheric, brutal, modern western?

Sign me the fuck up.

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The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of Electro – CBF Review

The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of Electro Green Goblin face

Don’t fuck with the original.

So the unnecessary sequel to the unnecessary reboot.

In an effort not to make an absolute fool of myself like I did on my review for the last Amazing Spider-Man, I’ll be keeping this one short.

Because I may not erase my mistakes, but I do run from them at every opportunity. I’m brave like that.

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Devil’s Due – CBF Review

Devil's Due Sam eats meat in supermarket

A demon-impregnated girl’s gotta do what a demon-impregnated girl’s gotta do.

I think the Devil’s due to have a better movie than this watered-down, unoriginal schlock.

At least it’s shorter than that endless, unbearable marathon of a Rosemary’s Baby redo with Zoe “I just wanted a holiday to Paris” Saldana.

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