Tag Archive | caleb

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 8 – TV Review

PLL Exes and OMGs Hanna

No, Hanna. Don’t become self-aware. It’s too depressing.

Just FYI, if there’s a noticeable lack of passion in this review, it’s because all my frustration has been driven towards the abysmal Scream season finale.

PLL: only looking (minimally) better when something else around it falls off a fucking cliff.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 4 – TV Review

PLL Hit and Run Run Run Spencer drunk

Spencer’s evidently been watching PLL.

So PLL already solves its flash forward mystery by only four episodes in, and even features a genuine emotional conflict?

What is this? Opposite week?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 2 – TV Review

PLL Bedlam Hanna red dress

Because Hanna can’t enjoy unemployment alone, now, can she?

Nothing important happens on the AD front.

Moving on.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 1 – TV Review

PLL Tick-Tock, Bitches Aria Ezra hiding

At least PLL is staying true to itself.

Yes, I was foolish enough to hope that maybe, with one final season premiere to attempt, that PLL would somehow claw its way out of the swamp of bullshittery in which it has mired itself.

And again, it didn’t.

Sink ever lower, show.

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Bates Motel Season 4 Episode 6 – TV Review

Bates Motel The Vault Norman crying

The immutable truth?

And the truth is that since the soaring episode 2, this season has been coasting along.

I suspect we’re just going through a lot of place-setting to end in a textbook Bates bombshell climax to the season, but I bitched on Game of Thrones for overindulging on that. So I have to bitch on it here, too.

A bitch on you, Bates Motel.

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Bates Motel Season 4 Episode 5 – TV Review

Bates Motel Refraction Norman therapy session

This isn’t The Sessions, dude.

Well, Caleb’s stink continues to follow around Bates Motel.

Let’s be done with it, already, for fuck’s sake.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 20 – TV Review

PLL Hush Hush Sweet Liars Mary Drake

No.

I fucking told you.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 19 – TV Review

PLL Did You Miss Me? Hanna killed Cece

Hanna has always been the most proactive one of the group.

Oh, get real. You know better than to trust anything PLL shows you.

If they can retcon Mona’s dead body, then a flimsy text isn’t out of the question.

Can you imagine, though?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 18 – TV Review

PLL Burn This bridal shower

Just barely holding on, ladies. It’s all you can do.

Well who could have predicted it, but I might have to eat my words about PLL taking the inevitable plunge back into unwatchable, retarded shit territory.

Because damn, this ship is crooked, but I must concede, it’s yet to capsize.

Just hold on for two more episodes. Please.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 17 – TV Review

PLL We've All Got Baggage Alison Doctor married

What, you got a problem with cheese?

Yes, not even Ella and Byron’s re-wedding, as officiated by fucking Aria, no less, can out-cheese the Suddenly Soulmates subplot of Alison and Doctor Dude.

As long as nobody is getting menaced by a ute in a parking lot, I’m happy.

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