Tag Archive | Brooke

Scream Halloween Special – TV Review

Scream Halloween Special Keiran death

We’re as shocked as you are, Keiran.

I did watch this about a month ago.

But, you know, it’s Scream The TV Series. Does anybody care?

Also, I’m not reviewing this as two episodes. To save time.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 12 – TV Review

Scream When a Stranger Calls Brooke Noah

And don’t get renewed, for God’s sake.

You know, I had to really suck up my pride to pretend that Scream’s first season wasn’t that bad. Pathetic finale and all.

But Season 2 has been a lot choppier than Season 1. So you’d think they’d at least throw me a bone for the finale (and, with its piss-poor ratings, likely the series finale), right?

Fucking. Wrong.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 11 – TV Review

Scream Heavenly Creatures Brooke Gustavo

God, I feel dirty for resorting to memes.

Yes, baby. Brooke’s back after her absence last week.

I mean, she doesn’t get anything to do other than ogle her fuckboi, but, you know.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 9 – TV Review

Scream The Orphanage Lesbait dead

Libby from Sabrina but without the fabulousness?

Just kidding. I know who it is. It’s Lesbait.

She doesn’t have a real name, does she?

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 8 – TV Review

Scream Village of the Damned Brooke drinking

Take me to Drown Town, Brooke.

I didn’t have a very perceptive week last week.

I thought Scream had only three, including this one, episodes left to go. And I was okay with that.

But now we’ve got four left, not including this one.

So kill a main cast member al-fucking-ready. Jesus.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 7 – TV Review

Scream Let the Right One In Emma Kieran

“I’m sorry, but Eli’s clear mental instability is more attractive.”

EDIT: A dutiful commenter has pointed out a couple of mistakes I made in this review. I thank them for their service, and thank you, dear reader, for internally deriding me. I will mark the errors below.

With only three episodes to go (EDIT: It’s five, actually)  after this one, Scream remembers that hey, it wasted time building up a pig farm nightmare backstory, so why not put all the eggs in that basket?

Because that basket is shit, baby. That’s why.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 6 – TV Review

Someone almost gets killed this episode.

So it’s progress.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 5 – TV Review

Scream Dawn of the Dead Kieran

Wait, I’ve got a better one:
“or Justin Bieber after a testosterone injection”

Goddamn, PLL. Scream’s even pulling off filler episodes better than you, now.

Will the embarrassment never end?

Well, we’re talking about PLL. So no.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 4 – TV Review

Scream Happy Birthday to Me Brooke compact

Brooke’s face says it all.

Yeah, Scream has its own bullshit and deficiencies. But at least they’re not seven years’ worth of compounded bullshit and deficiencies.

Scream also has Brooke.

Read More…

Scream Season 2 Episode 3 – TV Review

Scream Vacancy Kevin bar fight

“…the killer of family reunions.”

And you thought Maggie was a bad parent. Wait until you meet drunken, domestically violent Kevin.

But at least he doesn’t lie to Emma.

He’s got you there, Maggie.

Read More…

%d bloggers like this: