Tag Archive | baby

Dynasty Season 2 Episode 13 – TV Review

Dynasty Even Worms Can Procreate Sam Kirby

It’s a reliable look for them.

The drama is high this episode, darlings.

What a fucking closing run. Riverdale could never.

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Dynasty Season 2 Episode 12 – TV Review

Dynasty Filthy Games Alexis eating montage

And just like Shangela, robbed of the adulation it deserves.

Dynasty.

Got.

Renewed.

I mean, so did Legacies. But fuck it, I’ll take the win.

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Dynasty Season 2 Episode 8 – TV Review

Dynasty A Real Instinct for the Jugular Alexis wedding dress

And catfight in them, please.

After last week’s sagging disappointment, I was about ready to start my Make Dynasty Gay (and fabulous) Again campaign.

Well, I’m pleased to report that a wedding dress fashion montage with hair pulling isn’t even the gayest thing about this episode.

Dynasty’s back, baby.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 16 – TV Review

PLL The Glove That Rocks the Cradle Emily Alison kiss

Does Emily have that pregnant woman fetish thing? It’s the only explanation.

My rage at PLL over the last few episodes has now been replaced by grim apathy.

So things are looking up.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 15 – TV Review

PLL In the Eye Abides the Heart AD Aria face

Just… why?

For fuck’s sake, only five more episodes to go.

Dear God, just let it end.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL Power Play Sydney AD limo

I’ve had it. Officially.

And the fact that Sydney is still here, and now part of some kind of revamped A Team (the AD Team, I suppose?), isn’t even the stupidest thing about this episode.

Alison being impregnated with Emily’s egg isn’t even the stupidest thing about this episode.

I don’t know if I can go six more rounds with PLL, you guys.

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Bates Motel Season 5 Episode 1 – TV Review

Bates Motel Dark Paradise Norma murder

No scenery is safe from the chew of Norma Bates.

Did you really think death would keep Norma down?

And now she doesn’t even have to pretend to be civil. Because homicidal alter-egos don’t have to keep up appearances.

She’s off the leash.

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Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 9 – TV Review

OUaT Changelings Queenie grimace

I’m with ya, Queenie.

Although, despite all the Belle bullshit, Queenie still manages to rock two new costumes and slay the house down all over the place.

She doesn’t kill Zelena, though. It’s not super surprising, but it is super disappointing.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 9 – TV Review

TVD Cold as Ice Julian drunk

Julian has never experienced a good TVD.

Well, my smarmy assertion last week about TVD’s fall against The Originals’ rise seems to be holding true.

The Originals had a powerful, knockout episode this week.

And poor TVD had to dangle the deaths of its leading men in an attempt to force us to feel anything about this once great soap.

Yawn.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 8 – TV Review

TVD Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me Julian Sporty Baby Spice

Who knew that centuries’ old monogamist lesbians wouldn’t want their father figure’s penis in their bed, right?

It’s funny. As The Originals rises, The Vampire Diaries falls, and vice versa.

Season 5 of TVD was bland (after we lost Katherine, anyway), while season 1 of The Originals was a burst of fresh blood.

Season 6 of TVD gave us the holy, eternal Kai, while season 2 of The Originals stuck us with a no-stakes plot against the goddamn baby.

And now, as The Originals throws off the shackles of baby oppression and gets back to vampire business, so TVD sinks into mediocrity as every character somehow forgets how easy it is to stake or tear out a heart.

Let’s hope that mystery female assailant from the flash forwards turns out to be Katherine.

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